tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70673473526141767802024-03-04T23:16:13.423-08:00a perfectly imperfect liferest in your God-breathed worth.
stop holding your breath, hiding your gifts,
ducking your head, dulling your roar, distracting your soul, stilling your hands, quieting your voice,
and satiating your hunger
with the lesser things of this world.
~sarah bessey, jesus feministrachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-70232592253889164862015-02-21T11:30:00.002-08:002015-02-21T11:30:20.239-08:00Moving...<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I am in the process of moving my blog to Wordpress...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://rachelblazer.com/">rachelblazer.com</a></b></span></div>
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-60745785750578166432015-02-13T10:41:00.001-08:002015-02-13T10:45:10.799-08:00IF: a story of listening, hoping, and watching<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">i've been trying to write about <a href="https://ifgathering.com/who-we-are/">IF:Gathering</a> for a week... part of my problem could be the 'brain fog' effects of chemo (seriously- i think part of my brain dissolves each week), and part is probably the scope of this topic. i have not yet explained it well out loud, and this is my 9th attempt at writing about it. i'm resigned to the fact that this will be 2 posts, and neither may be clear or worth reading... but sometimes you've just got to get the words out of your head before you explode.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">at its core, the IF:Gathering is simple: <a href="https://ifgathering.com/who-we-are/">IF God is real, then what?</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">should our lives look different based on what we believe? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">yes- IF God is real, then we want more than anything to live like it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">is this radical? new, innovative, and provocative?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nope. not new at all, really- every generation gets a fresh wind, an opportunity to revisit their faith and examine their lives. do my every day actions match up with what i believe God is asking of me? how am i supposed to live out God's purpose for me in my place?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and the answers are not new, either. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Gather</b> together to build relationships and seek God together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Equip</b> each other with prayer and scripture. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Unleash</b> our God-given potential by partnering with others who are already helping, uplifting, feeding, educating, and healing people in our nation and around the world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">these are not new concepts. this isn't a fad that will look dated in a few years, unable to adapt to the next generations of spiritual seekers- it's actually a continuation of what has been true in the church all along, though we sometimes forget. the details of how we gather will change and adapt, but the heart of gathering, praying, reading, and helping is timeless.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the best part about IF is that it isn't about gathering under their banner and uniting women to follow these leaders as they create a new way. it's the same Banner... the same Way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">even the brand is a reminder of the purpose: IF i believe God exists, how can i live like it? here. today. in my place, with my people, my resources, my limitations- i have a God-given purpose here, and i want to live it faithfully.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i had a ticket to the first IF:Gathering in Austin, but our cross-country move and the timing of Matt's examination by our new presbytery made it unwise for me to attend in 2014. i watched the digital downloads while unpacking boxes and re-arranging furniture, occasionally dashing over to my notebook to write something down. i wanted to share it with my new friends here, but i also hesitated to add another 'good thing' to an already strong women's ministry. women are gathering together for prayer and Bible study, they are caring for each other and their neighbors, they are seeking to live the Gospel in every day ways... would another 'thing' be just an added stress? i put it in my calendar to talk to our women's ministry director in September, just to offer the resource, but i knew it might not be the right time. September came, and i was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I didn't make any plans for February. i didn't make anymore plans at all... i tend to curl up and hide when i'm hurt, preferring to deal with pain privately (which is a whole other topic), so IF was not at all on my radar.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i kept up with the <a href="http://www.ifequip.com/get-started">IF:Equip Bible studies</a> on my own, continued getting the emails about <a href="http://ifgathering.com/new-to-the-table/">IF:Table</a>, saw the excitement build for <a href="https://ifgathering.com/ifpray/">IF:Pray</a> and <a href="https://ifgathering.com/gather/local/">IF:Local gatherings</a>... and i was a little sad that i was on the outside. here is this resource to uplift and encourage and create community for women, and it's passing us by. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but God... right? isn't that always His way? sometime around Thanksgiving, halfway through chemo and unable to get out of bed, i knew i wasn't supposed to hide from this opportunity. why watch the IF:Gathering alone when my couch could hold 4? and isn't there room for a few chairs across the room- could 8 people fit in that space? i felt that desire to gather women, to grow in unity, to pursue healing and freedom together. there was a corner of fear in my heart to even ask... i've been hiding away from them, why would they want to come here? especially now, knowing how little i have to offer?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">they said yes. and i began dreaming that i would be well enough to create an environment of welcome, a beautiful space for connection to each other and to God. i had days when i felt energetic and creative, and i used those times to pull out the hot glue and dig through recipes i longed to eat. even that week, the first of february, i had a little window of improvement- off to the grocery for ingredients! i was thrilled to hang curtains in our family room, place some candles, prepare some little surprises for my friends...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">then february 6 arrived... bitterly cold (-7 degrees at sunrise) and spitting snow on top of the 16+ inches already accumulated.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg49jNtlrBfkX61mLxLt91_SgGB7Pc29HorOgGehEPt9U0dEBUXAPtSUHcBjGv7BH9MD1usIg_1oY28BtCuAmlAPOmoxvdppNEcb_JQNK4escs-V7x7ruHm5BfFpXBt6__Bg4zhm-H4Ogg/s1600/019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg49jNtlrBfkX61mLxLt91_SgGB7Pc29HorOgGehEPt9U0dEBUXAPtSUHcBjGv7BH9MD1usIg_1oY28BtCuAmlAPOmoxvdppNEcb_JQNK4escs-V7x7ruHm5BfFpXBt6__Bg4zhm-H4Ogg/s1600/019.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="http://beautifulmessphoto.com/">(all photos by Bailey Mohr of Beautiful Mess Photography)</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">from my kitchen sink, i could see the snow half swallowing the tree trunks... deep footprints in the snow where Spike, our neighbors' awesome black <strike>horse </strike> dog took his morning walk. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtRuqM1EX8GKCceUCi8z9mGHG7MSOY7ebHq7uAniQIpUB2qF05bjdzWNLF572yYb9Ohgkn5wsb7ltTYBzD3avtoWT_sSZruqJbxQxL7_Nsa-yv5gotTCMkFKQT6mKe9hlrAVdtFj4mw74/s1600/020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtRuqM1EX8GKCceUCi8z9mGHG7MSOY7ebHq7uAniQIpUB2qF05bjdzWNLF572yYb9Ohgkn5wsb7ltTYBzD3avtoWT_sSZruqJbxQxL7_Nsa-yv5gotTCMkFKQT6mKe9hlrAVdtFj4mw74/s1600/020.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i tried to think of their names- the 8 women who would be coming over that evening expecting... what? i'm not sure i ever adequately explained what we were doing, so maybe they didn't even know what they had said yes to!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i tried to drag my mind back to their names- their faces- their stories. i know these little pieces of their lives, fragments of pain and fear and questions. i have glimpses of their joys and what makes them come alive, but there is so much more that makes them whole. so much more story inside each of them.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1KFdmwsNMBfpCBKmK3iGdjOuoFY7BjT6LcHJPxggV8SSYIjd9q7upLfjxtw0X-yHQb3vMcArvSY4thXk1L9VdPBGgtc6oV0kK7jtsOpfgg8kUua0Ao1tB3KuVGrIlHncnixUiHFVLgs/s1600/005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1KFdmwsNMBfpCBKmK3iGdjOuoFY7BjT6LcHJPxggV8SSYIjd9q7upLfjxtw0X-yHQb3vMcArvSY4thXk1L9VdPBGgtc6oV0kK7jtsOpfgg8kUua0Ao1tB3KuVGrIlHncnixUiHFVLgs/s1600/005.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i wanted to pray hopefully and expectantly for our time together, but my mind was cloudy. my heart was racing too fast, skipping beats, making me dizzy. this last round of chemo dealt a late, low blow... i couldn't get my body under control no matter how much medication i took. i was unable to hydrate, unable to hold nutrients in my already weak body. i couldn't even stand long enough to cook the meals i had planned. and while the food would be prepared by loving hands and the messes whisked away from my sight </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(thank you matt, bailey, jessie, ty, and brian), </i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i felt defeated. would i be able to share in this gathering with my friends, or would i be too sick to even be in the room? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">instead of praying for my friends, i just cried: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i thought i was supposed to do this, Lord. You asked me to do this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">why am i falling apart now?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYD9oDA7ygZyKf20469Q7NSMjGRDFJLfRY51iGs0MqGC8qfKlUXXq1eBomvQCnpXp4iRQ9ogzZn1qpbUfGxKHI_mekNHJtWk7Wa84g6ACPGLVT9br2mULQJn5cz1-1Lf3Yf1SX0QY1qEg/s1600/014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYD9oDA7ygZyKf20469Q7NSMjGRDFJLfRY51iGs0MqGC8qfKlUXXq1eBomvQCnpXp4iRQ9ogzZn1qpbUfGxKHI_mekNHJtWk7Wa84g6ACPGLVT9br2mULQJn5cz1-1Lf3Yf1SX0QY1qEg/s1600/014.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">then the assurance came: <i>no matter what, this weekend is not about what you do. it is about what I am doing in each of their hearts- for them, for their gain, for My glory. you are already done. you invited them, you set the stage for Me to speak, and now you get to watch Me... just watch.</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7k6yiudmNhJ9Hlw1dKr1yq0oc-2bxH8bab9fAmqV72eIv6gdIeg5Rb0GpwZDT-lCUeNOPBjHaFPdS0hDDZwgeBx33lNosOKV0fr57_zZZAfEJAykLEoqGT0WVaBFKrJHyWoY6GHXTIk/s1600/002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY7k6yiudmNhJ9Hlw1dKr1yq0oc-2bxH8bab9fAmqV72eIv6gdIeg5Rb0GpwZDT-lCUeNOPBjHaFPdS0hDDZwgeBx33lNosOKV0fr57_zZZAfEJAykLEoqGT0WVaBFKrJHyWoY6GHXTIk/s1600/002.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i> (Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill </i></span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">His Promises to her. Luke 1:45)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so that is what i did. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i couldn't stand at the stove to cook, so i sat in the chair and pointed to where my utensils are found and i listened and laughed while they did the work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i couldn't sing loud to overcome the potential awkwardness of small group worship, so i whispered the words, worshipped in my heart, and smiled at the beauty of the voices around me- beautiful hearts singing to their Creator.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i couldn't eat the food i had been craving and planning, but i watched the women i love enjoying fellowship around the table and was thankful for applesauce and bone broth and the healing of my body.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i couldn't know ahead of time all that God was planning to do in our hearts- 9 women, 1 small room, 1000 little ways of changing us and moving us forward in faith- but i watched their faces. i saw the tears. i saw the words written and underlined. i listened to them question aloud and heard unspoken fear and conviction... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>here is a taste of what God gave us...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"it is not about us- not the measure of our faith. God has already measured up on our behalf." -jennie allen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"do not stop valuing the gifts God gave you because they don't look like the gifts you value." (paraphrase) -angie smith</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"revival resuscitates believers first- it begins in us."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"the fullness of you gives back, extends grace, gives a lift because Jesus' fullness is the brightest part of you." -rebekah lyons</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"when you believe someone, eventually you start believing what they say about you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"don't wait until you have full knowledge of God to take full possession of Him."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"faith doesn't erase doubt and insecurity, it just overcomes them." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- jen hatmaker</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"our repentance is the scent of our love." - ann voskamp</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"you cannot live in the past and lay hold of the future- let go of what is dead and move on." - christine caine</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"pay attention to the depression, the sadness, the numbness. these are signs that something is seriously wrong."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"women are the greatest untapped resource in the world." - lynne hybels</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"God is who He says He is, so let's take steps of faith." - esther havens</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and so much more... i'm still grasping for the confidence to believe what God told me, how to take my faith step.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i am just thankful to have been in the room.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">my biggest regret is that my couch only holds this many... there are honestly 100+ women i wanted to gather with this weekend. if not for the chemo, i would have tried! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">but know this: February 5-6 2016, IF:Simsbury... you're invited. i'll get a bigger couch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">you can purchase the digital download of the <a href="http://shoppe.ifgathering.com/collections/frontpage/products/digital-download?variant=1101073276">IF:Gathering HERE.</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">it's worth it, i promise!</span></div>
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<br />rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-55299519902903682082015-01-06T01:47:00.001-08:002015-01-06T02:36:06.655-08:00 sleepless things written well before sunrise<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it's very still at this time of morning... no sound, just the occasional hum and exhale of the radiators combatting the 10 degree air seeping in through invisible cracks. sometimes the old farmhouse walls creak and settle, the sounds of a house that has held fast over time- held careful watch over many families.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the moon is brightly reflecting off the ice-blanketed snow on the lawn. i can see to find my way across the house, turn on the coffee, round up some blankets. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">might as well warm my hands on delicious caffeinated bliss- heavily doused with dark chocolate almond milk. it will taste like mud for the next two weeks, and i'm not going to sleep tonight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3:48 a.m.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">getting ready for another day of chemo, another cycle of poisonous, life-saving infusions... it has the anticipation and fear of preparing for childbirth. packing a bag- the familiar and well-loved quilt, the light, refreshing snacks (frozen green grapes- do this for yourself), the distracting books and movies. we fill the waiting-days with washing sheets, stocking the pantry, planning the week to come so everything goes as smoothly as possible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the simultaneous '<i>can i do this?</i>' and '<i>i must to do this</i>' are alike, minus the beautifully enlarged family at the end of the labor struggle. but maybe that, too? if i get to stay here- if all this poison and surgery prevails- isn't our family larger, too? so yes- i feel like i'm preparing for another day of labor: fighting to be in the room with my babies, to complete our family of four.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3:57 a.m.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the cat is so happy that i'm up. a little confused as to why i'm not filling his food dish, but pleased to be snuggled under blankets with me well before sunrise. the dog is sleeping and i'm struggling with jealousy. i love to sleep, and i'm excellent at it when i'm not filled with steroids in preparation for tomorrow's drug-fest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4:01 a.m.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i've listened to and read your many prayers, my friends and family from around the world. you send healing, encouragement, grief, and love in your letters, gifts, and e-mails. <i>i am filled by them. filled by Him through you.</i> i've tried to explain this before, somewhat unsuccessfully, and i doubt my sleepless, anxious, steroid-addled brain will do better this morning, but my heart will give it a try:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i don't feel like i need to do something to enter into prayer in this season- no formal 'dear God, it's me- rachel,' no calling out for Him to come near, no A.C.T.S. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication for those not raised in evangelical-dom)</span><i>.</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>i'm just lightly, constantly present with God</i>, able to speak to Him, able to hear Truth. it's not the same prayer as pre-September. it's not the same place i was when Matt had cancer. and while i'm certainly not the same me, God is unchanged- just showing me His closeness in a new and precious way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4:12 a.m.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know that may not make sense. i know some would like to see me doing something more- coming for prayer and anointing? asking for spiritual guidance in some way? boldly proclaiming and claiming healing? i am deeply thankful (on a good day) for this desire- it means love to me and my family. but all this is happening inside me... your prayers surround me and cover me with blessing. decades of your mentoring wisdom come back to me- your words floating before me when i need them most. boldness. is there anything more bold than proclaiming to you that i am in the Lord's presence? my hands are shaking just knowing that Truth- even in my sick, broken body, i am with God. i don't know if i will be ultimately healed, though i ask for it. but i know that i am already Healed- He does this (did it- it has happened!) the moment we see our need and trust He alone can fill it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>i find again that God is enough for my need.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4:23 a.m.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">oh coffee. i will miss you. see you in 10 days or so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-57055856625482729342014-12-29T07:48:00.001-08:002014-12-30T15:27:10.071-08:00tea and champagne<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: left;">i have always loved the end of the year... truth be told, i'm a closet contemplative. generally a task-oriented, list-making organizer, i set aside that part of me and gather up all my dreamy, 'what could be-ness' and let it flow. remembering, reviewing, re-grieving, re-celebrating... the regrets and 'should haves' pile up, but there is great satisfaction in the 'we did it!' the 'look how far we've come' is powerful in my heart, in my prayers. naming my disappointments and successes gives voice to my thankfulness. i take time to know: <i>this year was a gift, in both the most painful and most radiant days</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i usually enjoy the anticipation of a new year, too: admiring the fullness of the bottle we're about to crack open and taste for the first time, wondering what will come bubbling out when the cork is popped. like great champagne- crisp and sparkling over lips and tongue- the year before us is magically fresh and tastes like opportunity. not resolutions, not calendar planning, not the to-do list. those are a separate matter, and the organized 'listy mclisterson' in me can't wait to put pen to paper and color-coordinate all the specifics. i love details, but those aren't the magic. <i> it's the </i></span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>life</i></b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i> that's going to happen in the new days- there is so much possibility to be uncorked!</i> something about the turning over of the calendar makes all this so much more compelling, and i love being swept up in the grand, hopeful celebration of it all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">this year is different, of course. finishing the year with breast cancer wasn't exactly what i was planning when i turned the calendar from '13 to '14. i would desperately love to say 2015 will be chemo-free, but it will not be. i'm beginning the year with 2 more rounds in the hope of eliminating the cancer completely before surgery. i want that- i want to give my body the best chance of getting past this disease. somehow spending the close of the year looking ahead to more poison just doesn't lend itself to expansive dreaming and expectant preparations for the year to come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it doesn't feel like magic this year. i don't have the champagne tingle of anticipation as i see 2015 around the corner. for the first time that i can remember, i would like to fast forward to next winter. i want to be on the other side, where i can (hopefully) look back on cancer and chemotherapy and surgery and radiation and reconstruction with tired, thankful memories. i want it behind me. onward, upward to the purposes i'm meant to live out- the life that will happen after cancer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and there's the lie, did you catch it? </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 1.38;">in my 'all or nothing' mentality, i crossed my God-given purposes off the list for the next year and replaced them with cancer. i convinced myself that i was out of commission for <a href="https://ifgathering.com/">gathering, equipping and unleashing myself and others</a>- that God wasn't going to use me this year. as if i've fallen into a void of uselessness because what i thought i was doing has been derailed. as if God didn't know this was part of my life story- 'oh, that's too bad... i had such hopes for rachel's life.' that's not His voice, not His way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.38;">i wanted to be closer to the end of breast cancer so i could keep on with the </span><span style="line-height: 22px;">plans</span><span style="line-height: 1.38;"> already in progress. and they were His plans- i still believe that. there is nothing wrong with where i was heading or the dreams i was pursuing... but now it's on to something different. as Jennie Allen said as she accepted His purpose for If:Gathering, <i><a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/the-road-to-if-and-a-bigger-faith/">"i</a></i></span></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0.3499999940395355px; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 28.125px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/the-road-to-if-and-a-bigger-faith/">t’s going to be different… it won’t be a tweaked version of old dreams. these are new and scary and uncomfortable dreams, but they are from God. He builds things like this… people don’t."</a> </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">I have a lot of cancer days ahead. more treatment days. sick days. many surgery days. healing days. that's a lot of todays that i could assume i have no purpose- no part in the largeness of God's great story of drawing people to Him. a lot of todays that i could take for granted as meaningless- 'today i don't matter because i'm sick'- looking forward to someday, when my life matters again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: large; line-height: 19px;"><i> {today matters as much as someday}</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so that's where i begin 2015. it doesn't feel like the champagne-sparkling hope of years past. not the same sweet, nose-tickling, 'raise your glass' anticipation. from here, 2015 appears to be a season of <i><span style="color: #444444;">watchfulness. listening. </span></i></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #444444;">quiet, abiding, 'warm tea by the fireplace' comfort in knowing He hasn't counted me out of His story</span></i>. my todays still have meaning. so i will turn the calendar and simply be awake and present for an as yet unrevealed purpose. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>may this calendar-turn bring you both </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>hope and comfort... </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>sparkling champagne wishes and warm tea dreams</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>to all of you, my friends!</i></span></div>
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-27886185382151668802014-11-22T20:10:00.001-08:002014-11-22T21:58:16.435-08:00to Riverside Church as you move into your new home...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">dear Riverside Church friends... there are a thousand things i want to give to you, our first church family, as you celebrate your first Sunday in your new building! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a thousand thanks for welcoming me as a newly married, mostly terrified, incredibly self-centered young pastor's wife... for raising me to be a wife & mother, a friend & neighbor- one that can occasionally see past myself to reach out to those around me. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">you welcome and cherish each other so well.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a thousand i'm sorrys for the many times i was petty and selfish... you forgave me for so often letting my immaturity cloud my judgment. another round of thank you's for giving gracious counsel, careful criticism, and then pouring forgiveness on me. </span><br />
<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">you stand with each others' limitations so well.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a thousand tears wept together (at least that many)... i'm surprised Hixson didn't have to replace that hallway carpet from the mornings we spent grieving loss and hurt on each others' shoulders. we lost children, parents, siblings, grandparents... we cried over damaged friendships, painful and scary illness, broken marriages. we cried when we were sad, and we cried together. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>you mourn with each other so well.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">another thousand tears of laughter and embarrassing snorts of happiness that burst out when you're among the best sorts of friends. chili suppers (such as you will enjoy tomorrow- how i wish i could be there!), sweltering july picnics, late nights at the women's retreats, and seeing Zack dance on stage (the earthy dance? was that it? it has been several years, but i still smile when i think of it!)... these are moments i remember laughing long and hard with you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>you enjoy life together so well!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a thousand moments of celebration with you... your weddings, your graduations, your good news from the doctors, your children's births. the smiles, the toasts, the shared joys are among my most precious memories. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>you celebrate each other so well.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a thousand layers of grace from the Lord. as He built up our faith and tore down our idols and pulled away our hardness and gave us new eyes and new hearts, we grew together and we are no longer who we once were. we are changed by His love, His freedom, His gentle call to turn to Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>you follow Jesus together so well. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it is such an honor to have entered into these sacred moments with you. i can't find the words to tell you how i treasure my memories of 10 years with you. and to see you now? working together to purchase and restore a beautiful new home- the place you will welcome new families, accept them into your hearts, raise them up, mourn with them, laugh with them, celebrate with them, grow in grace with them? i am filled with gratitude for you and all the Lord has done! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">as you enjoy your first Sunday without a set up/tear down crew (AAAAAHHH!), your first day singing and celebrating the risen Christ in the new sanctuary, your first morning of praying and hearing Scripture corporately in your new home, know that you have been lifted up from a thousand miles away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because <b>I hold you in my heart</b>, for you are all partakers with me of grace... Philippians 1:6-7</i></span></div>
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-68572820743103553852014-11-09T09:25:00.001-08:002014-11-09T09:25:59.769-08:00rinse & repeat<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">chemo is even less fun than you've imagined... unless you've had it or are having it now, then you know exactly. no need for details- i'm just sick for about a week and then i slowly feel better & have more energy until i go back for another round every 21 days. hopefully just rinse & repeat 6 times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">one interesting revelation in all of this is that i'm not a medicine person. around age 5, i broke into an upper cabinet & ate a bunch of baby aspirin... that's the last time i remember wanting to take a lot of pills. (those tasted like cherry- who can blame a kid?!) i'm usually more of a 'wait & see' person. if i have a headache, i drink a glass of water or go outside for a short walk. upset stomach? drink some bone broth and take a closer look at my diet from recent days. skin red & itchy? removing grains and dairy from my food cleared that right up. there's a pill for every ailment, but they seem to adversely affect me in one way or another- i didn't realize how much i disliked medications until now! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but then there's chemo... when you pour toxic chemicals into your veins, you get immediate side effects. chemically-induced illnesses don't go away with whole foods and a glass of water. you can't always 'wait & see'- ongoing digestive distress (ahem) dehydrates & weakens your body, which is already reeling. so basically, i'm a ping-pong ball. i fly between hot flashes & fever chills, exhaustion & restlessness, hungry & nauseous. i'll spare you the other extremes. but there's a pill for that, and i have no choice but to take it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so i'm not feeling great, but there are a few things that are helping. maybe they will help you to care for someone (or maybe yourself) in the same boat? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. <i>meals for my family</i>. our community drops meals at our house several days a week. i'm not able to eat them the week after chemo (though they smell delicious!), but it's a precious and selfless gift to prepare food for my people. i'm so thankful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. <i>bottled water</i>. i'm usually a tap water person, but i can taste all the metals in our well water right now, and bottle water is delightfully bland. the more i drink, the better i feel- hydration always matters, and right now i'm keenly aware.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. <i>bone broth</i>. when i can drink 1-2 cups of warm bone broth (beef, chicken, pork- any healthy animal bones + veggies), i have more energy & less stomach upset. it's a highly nutrient dense drink, and it doesn't take much to see the benefit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. <i>walking outdoors</i>. being in Connecticut, my days of outdoor walks are approaching an end. shifting to snow shoes may be the thing, though, because movement fights chemical induced fatigue better than sleep! i'm not terribly aerobic these days, but 30 minutes of slow walking helps a lot. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. <i>friends who give ENORMOUS grace</i>. this bears repeating: you are loving us well, friends. i know you wish you could DO something, and i understand that impulse. i like to 'do,' too! it's so much easier than praying, hoping, and waiting. i get it. but there isn't always something to do, is there? some days we get 5 offers for groceries, walks, and babysitting- we take great comfort in both your offers of love and your ability to hear 'no thank you.' it doesn't seem like much, but when you accept 'no,' you are not requiring more of us than we have to give today. that is just as much a gift to us as your time & service.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hear this, please: when you quietly leave a meal outside our door, when you send a text that i can't respond to for days, when you just wish you could do something to help - we know you love us, and that is everything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-70199186172792921132014-10-21T12:31:00.000-07:002014-11-22T22:03:43.780-08:00i am sure of this<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i spent about seven weeks this summer preparing a study called Who Does God Say He Is to share with the women in my church & community. it's a look at how God describes Himself in the Bible- what He reveals through the names and attributes used throughout His written story. layer after layer, each word builds a clearer picture of Him, and still we never finish. He is never done showing us who He is and how He longs for us to reflect Him in and to our world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">for a few hours almost every day, i asked Him to pour out the abundance of who He is like unleashed clouds on those warm hazy August days. that is something He loves to do... to drench us in Himself! i soaked in Truth, drank in Mystery, overwhelmed again that this Well will not run dry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Creator and Restorer, Accessible and Unchanging, Sovereign and Faithful, Merciful, Just, Good... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">did you know it's possible to be completely satisfied and achingly thirsty at the same time? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to both see Him more clearly and know at the very core of your being that these mysteries are beyond your understanding? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to recognize yourself as He created you, Image Bearer, and yet long to know who you are becoming more strongly than ever? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it's a rumbling waterfall of contrasting feelings- noisy and restful at once.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">this is where i found myself- sopping wet and dripping with Grace and Truth- on September 11. in the early Fall sunshine, wrapped in a soft blanket and sitting in a chippy white Adirondack chair {my most prized roadside rescue}, i was full to overflowing as I answered the phone and talked to the doctor about my breast cancer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i tell you this because i am not so strong, not so faithful. i'm angry at this bad news, hurt by the chemotherapy, afraid for my children, sad for my husband. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i'm also sure of this: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> <b>all that God showed me of Himself in August </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>did not become untrue in September. </b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the abundance of Himself that He poured over me? it's soaking in, filling the places that i cannot see or describe to you. He is still my Restorer, still Unchanging, still Sovereign, still Good, still Merciful... all this and more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He is still enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>your prayers, gifts, letters, hugs, meals, kind words, service and love are such an offering of His grace to our family... we will never be able to give back all that we've already received, and we are grateful that you are pouring out on us. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>we love you. yes- you.</i></span></div>
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<br />rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-35682239622561315182014-09-27T05:33:00.000-07:002014-09-27T05:33:02.077-07:00a few answers<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so many of you have experience with cancer... i'm so sorry. i'm sad that you know what questions to ask. i'm sad that you're familiar with the tests. i'm sad that you know the pros and cons of different treatments. these are ideas and words that aren't meant to be in our lives. cancer is part of our broken world. God is present in every part of it- He is present with us. but we are not made for this. i'm sorry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">because you know what to ask, i feel strange about not being more forthcoming with my medical information. it's not about being shy or needing privacy- i've had babies, mammograms, biopsies, and pap smears with entire medical school classes observing (exaggeration is my therapy). i'm not shy about sharing what's going on, but i'm not sure it's always helpful?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">you see, when i hear you asking for more information, i hear this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"i love you, and i'm worried about you."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"i'm afraid for you and your family."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"i want to do something because i care about you so much."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">thank you for asking- i know you love us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i'm not sure more details would really help. somehow each new piece of information also adds five new questions. one biopsy tells us that cancer is present, but not size, stage, or how far it has spread. one scan tells us the approximate size, but also gives false results based on hormone levels. another scan gives me a license to be radioactive- literally, a card stating that it's okay that i'm setting off radiation alarms. (matt called it 'the hulk scan.' i am not green or huge, but i'm hopeful...) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">even now, i'm waiting for 3 more tests before beginning treatment. 6 weeks into this we still don't know as much as we would like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">so how about this for basic answers: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we do know that there is cancer present in the right breast. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we do know that it's triple positive, which has good and bad points.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we do know that i will be receiving chemotherapy beginning as soon as possible.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we do know that i will have surgery after chemo is done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and many of you now have 10 more questions because you know so much about cancer. i'm so sorry that you know what to ask, and i'm sorry that i'm not giving you solid answers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but i'm not sorry, really- thank you for loving us with your questions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-83531657095396400942014-09-17T11:50:00.001-07:002014-09-17T11:50:18.897-07:00grace for deeper waters <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs">Hillsong United "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">there's only a slight difference in how it feels, facing your own cancer compared to cancer in someone you love as part of yourself. it's like looking down at your body (you know it's your body- you're inside it) versus looking at your reflection (is that what i look like to others? how odd). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the difference is in the perspective. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i've been here before as a wife. in 2009, matt had a lump. then an appointment. then a wait. then another appointment. then a surgery, a few tests. another wait.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">then cancer. and all that goes with cancer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i've said before, and i should go on record with it: i am so glad our cancer chapter was so short. it was not easy- matt, i promise that i know it wasn't easy for you. i was there, and it was... </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">is there really an appropriate description? </i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know short does not mean happy, but it also means he is alive and cancer free. not in remission- no cancer at all. 5 years. i know this is good, and i am aware and grateful. too many friends are still being treated, still losing their loved ones, still in pain. i know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and now here we are again. <i> i have breast cancer.</i> first lumps. appointments. then tests. waiting. more tests to come. words like 'concerning.' 'suspicious.' 'how soon can you get in for this biopsy?' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>'i'm sorry to tell you this over the phone.'</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i don't know if it's worse now than it was before? with the knowing. the familiarity. is it harder to have been here or to be completely unaware? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i could argue both sides. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it wasn't my body in 2009, but it was my heart. my only one. their only father.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i didn't get sick, but i was suffering. they were, too.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and now it is my body, and it's all the same feelings. i'm their only mother. i'm his only one- his heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and we will be okay- that's our plan. (and as far as we know, it is a good plan).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we don't want to do this. not again. yet </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God meets us here just as He meets us every day and every place. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">His grace carries us even in this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">****************************************************************</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>this is new information for some of you, and i am sorry you are reading it here instead of sitting with us in the mountains by a crackling fire, watching the sunset, sipping excellent red wine. would that we could discuss all hard things in such a place! we are thankful to love and be loved by so many, and yet that makes it impossible to have personal conversations with each of you. if we do not respond to your text, your email, your call... if we are not ready to meet you for prayer and coffee... will you give us grace? you are loved by us, and we are grateful for you, and we are limited by our sadness and our need to rest.</i></span><br />
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-65224035062535543702014-09-01T09:21:00.001-07:002014-09-01T09:23:46.649-07:00Pour<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>As 'back to school' happens and life is moving on, I'm feeling in between. Here and there. New England and Midwest. This day, September 1, marks the beginning of a new season (figuratively). Nine months in our new home- with our new friends- our new normal. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I wrote this about a year ago as a part of my going away process... it still brings old faces to mind, and happily, also a group of new faces. I am confident in how He is pouring out a new story- a good story for all of us, even in the letting go.</i></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pour. It’s the first word in my mind when I consider our friendship.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pour out. Pour over. Pour into.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And we do pour a considerable amount, don’t we? </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We pour water, coffee, tea, wine, sangria, champagne, cocktails, and </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">more sangria, please.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After we pour our drinks, we pour out ourselves.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We pour ideas, recipes, stories, and advice.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We pour our laughter, love, prayers, tears (these are pouring now- the others at the cafe beginning to get uncomfortable). </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We pour anxiety, fear, concern, grace, and forgiveness. We pour life into each other.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We pour out gifts... the brilliant and undeserved treasure put in us by the Lord. </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We do have a variety of gifts, have you seen?</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour Welcome and Hospitality, the warm, priceless offering of a place to rest and connect.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour gracious, painful Honesty and the beautiful ability to enter into conflict to make us face our true selves and force our friendships into stronger places.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour out sweet Vulnerability, challenge us all to look at our fears and own them before Our God who says, ‘do not worry!’ </span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour Creativity, and as we marvel at your artistry we all feel God’s presence more intensely.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour out Wisdom, Experience, light-filled Guidance for us to follow into the Unknown and New.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour Encouragement, the celebratory support from friends who know, understand, and believe wholeheartedly that we can do it... whatever the task.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour out precious Faith. Trust that God always does what He says He will do.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour quiet Attentiveness, your listening ears and deep heart abiding with all that we pour back.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You pour bold words of Hope. Powerful testimony of what is to come... future Grace.</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You’ve poured all that God has put inside you, and I feel God’s Grace and Presence in your faces and hands. I’m filled to the brim, ready to overflow to a new family, a new circle of smiling faces. Still, I can’t imagine life without a cup in my hands and your beautiful faces before me- pouring liquid favor and life-giving love into each other. I can’t imagine daily life without you.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Will you still be my people? Can we still pour life into each other? Pour out ourselves, pour blessing over each other? I know I need you on the other side of my cup. </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">As I pour coffee (in my hobnail mug, of course), I promise to pray for you in deep, joyful, extravagant ways.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>Because you need this.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Pour a cup, pour out your prayers, and allow God to pour into each of us in divine mystery... and know that the cry of your heart matters immensely to me and to the Lord.</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“<i>Trust in Him at all times, O people; </i><b><i>pour out your heart before Him</i></b><i>. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>God is a refuge for us.” </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~Psalm 62:8</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With More Love Than You Could Hold In A Thousand Hobnail Cups,</span></i></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rachel </span></i></span><br />
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-25118289702197444582014-07-31T14:10:00.005-07:002014-07-31T14:10:49.667-07:00more good things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Though it is plainly summer in Connecticut, it is not 105 degrees. This makes me happy, because I am an angry person when I'm uncomfortable. Being sweaty immediately upon exiting the shower? Uncomfortable, therefore angry. Sitting outside in 80ish degrees with a breeze? Lovely, and not angry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. I was unreasonably afraid that our house would be hot all summer. It is pleasantly, surprisingly cool, and I am thankful!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. There are 4 huge old trees in our front yard... lots of shade, low branches for climbing, and stunning shadows and light coming through the leaves. I love the quiet rush of the wind coming through the limbs. I love watching my children gain confidence as they scramble to new heights and overcome their fear as they climb back down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Matt and I hung twinkle lights across the front yard... they make me happy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Julia doesn't hate fireworks and sparklers anymore- she enjoys the crashing and crackling, the flashes of color, the heavy smoke spreading across the lawn. There's more growth and development in just that sentence than I can describe, so you have to believe me. It's a big deal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>this picture is blurry because she is in motion. when she loves something, she shows it with her whole being.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6. We visited New York City briefly this month, and of all the fun we had visiting Uncle Alex, Aunt Jessie, Cousin Hadley, Mimi, and Auggie Dog (not to mention the views of the Hudson, the WTC, the Statue of Liberty, and a trip to the Museum of Natural History), my favorite part of the weekend is this: Jessie miraculously and unknowingly got our children to eat the same kind of chicken. Not two separate meals- just one. This is also a big deal. You are winning all the things right now, Jessie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">7. Actually, I really enjoyed NYC, what little we were able to cover in 28ish hours! The little pocket parks between buildings and the huge numbers of families playing out on the lawn by the river create such a different kind of community with</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in the larger city... fascinating to this suburban girl. I look forward to staying a bit longer, seeing more of the city, maybe babysitting that cute baby so her parents can go out. Yes, the miracle of the chicken has merited babysitting. </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's that huge</i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">8. I got the laundry clean and the airplane snacks made before midnight the night before we leave town... you might not think this is noteworthy, but I manage to procrastinate prepping and packing for travel until the wee hours. I'm so far ahead of my usual self I may pour a drink... sit down... ignore the fact that nothing is actually in suitcases yet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">9. We have church outdoors in the summer. While not everything about this is perfect, I am enjoying these aspects: dewy grass, friends on picnic blankets and folding chairs, rustling leaves, laughing children chasing each other across the yard, voices carried off by the wind as we sing and pray together. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">10. There are blackberries growing across the yard- planted by someone else I'm not sure how long ago. Watching the branches flower, push through into tiny green clusters, and now deepen from green to red to black has been so sweet this summer. They will </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">probably fully ripen while we are away, and I like to imagine our friends getting to enjoy them with their families. Why do blackberries mean gathering together to me? They just don't seem like a solitary fruit- certainly not meant to be consumed hurriedly or privately. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheUOX5bGAH_nwERyojeYA8Kblbk2N9019OCLnEdYVFSAyiWiSUy86rswODCkCXvxfAG00moc3atKF4m-oEePin1PeG4xVq9lfoEtP0Xyy-rxTs3VK5PXkqZSA4Gu6ZO4WLIWcpavgbrlQ/s1600/Blackberries.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheUOX5bGAH_nwERyojeYA8Kblbk2N9019OCLnEdYVFSAyiWiSUy86rswODCkCXvxfAG00moc3atKF4m-oEePin1PeG4xVq9lfoEtP0Xyy-rxTs3VK5PXkqZSA4Gu6ZO4WLIWcpavgbrlQ/s1600/Blackberries.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">11. I have decided to read more about blackberry cultivation. There will be more of these next year, mark my words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">12. We have several more weeks of summer vacation, and many of our planned adventures and hoped for projects still to fulfill. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFa51qGzXpmuBTRVro34btUl3SIfDAEntmzF19d5T57WYo1K4DQx3vKSHZ4lbKLwq_h6WpYf9DgMy9GUNN80yz45O0NaU8qbc1uEbo8crqNPTmYllMH2kSi2bmhbuO6-Hum8N-VVYoZ88/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFa51qGzXpmuBTRVro34btUl3SIfDAEntmzF19d5T57WYo1K4DQx3vKSHZ4lbKLwq_h6WpYf9DgMy9GUNN80yz45O0NaU8qbc1uEbo8crqNPTmYllMH2kSi2bmhbuO6-Hum8N-VVYoZ88/s1600/index.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-56966440242972618472014-07-29T06:40:00.001-07:002014-07-29T06:40:02.671-07:00where i sit... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Some thoughts about where i sit, and write, and read... </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>and waste time on Facebook.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> 90% of the people who read this are my blood relatives. 8% of the remaining handful are in my church. So for the 2% who don't know this already, our family lives in the manse on the property of our church-</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://barnweb.cpcbarn.org/">Covenant Presbyterian Church.</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Living in a manse is similar to renting, but then not very much like renting at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's the same in that we choose carefully how much money to put into the </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Window treatments & light fixtures= yes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hardwood floors & kitchen cabinets=no. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> It's different in this: caring for this home is also caring for our church, which we love. Updating and maintaining a piece of the church= yes. (And i'm pretty sure i'll get messages from the trustees about this... We are happy, y'all! I promise! No need to panic! : )</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SOOOOOO much painting was done before we moved here. I am more thankful now than when i first moved in because i see how much work it was! Service is my biggest love language, and often the hardest for me to accept. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel loved by my painted walls. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There was a tiny room that i didn't know how to use before we moved in, and it became my dumping grounds and bill paying space. As we unpacked, settled rooms, and got rid of furniture that wasn't a fit for this space,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> this became my office. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not a place of business, but a workspace. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And then i wanted to make it pretty, because pretty matters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not perfect, not fancy, just a lovely little spot- </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a welcoming room.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This tiny room had a former life as a nursery, i believe. Hence the pink paint. The pink & brown is *actually* prettier than these pictures show, but the colors didn't work for my purposes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>This picture was from when we visited in December... </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>the day before we knew we would be moving here!</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGK6cv5xQw4bImLT7BbqCH0FeADJdS0OW90znIsxMuyo7eAZ85w8kg5qxgXV5zyQ_TOp0FcTyy4TR8r3_5wHz_mpD3FKVDh6-W71s-wVjLq2wEubJ6tyWp_RwpMsRgJ6nH2RRFVndfzg/s1600/IMG_0847.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIGK6cv5xQw4bImLT7BbqCH0FeADJdS0OW90znIsxMuyo7eAZ85w8kg5qxgXV5zyQ_TOp0FcTyy4TR8r3_5wHz_mpD3FKVDh6-W71s-wVjLq2wEubJ6tyWp_RwpMsRgJ6nH2RRFVndfzg/s1600/IMG_0847.JPG" height="297" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You can see the color slightly better here as i began to paint it...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxSXVk7t2NrLgK41TWDBOdoQZco1bWfAdW6TM1ky9a9xcbxeGjTte0vcw27NXkmblEX48mE51GQXT4gQxlGgo-mrf57l_UZ03NAH9-Ufx6TVeeFkm3L9SwEUs5lyXT-UHZI55FTNPAR0/s1600/IMG_1959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxSXVk7t2NrLgK41TWDBOdoQZco1bWfAdW6TM1ky9a9xcbxeGjTte0vcw27NXkmblEX48mE51GQXT4gQxlGgo-mrf57l_UZ03NAH9-Ufx6TVeeFkm3L9SwEUs5lyXT-UHZI55FTNPAR0/s1600/IMG_1959.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And here it is now:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QoIcbM6zh9mKDKO3uev4PD3i2_FoV_PU-HInuI4Sid47XflSBDoYMnWMmKpAx7yEjrQmQLpgiJ4DxfloG1ItoOmIuxQLpIMhxReyyy8699e0xtKNq36eFewk1cPa_4kUQv1O-z2J1pc/s1600/IMG_2216.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QoIcbM6zh9mKDKO3uev4PD3i2_FoV_PU-HInuI4Sid47XflSBDoYMnWMmKpAx7yEjrQmQLpgiJ4DxfloG1ItoOmIuxQLpIMhxReyyy8699e0xtKNq36eFewk1cPa_4kUQv1O-z2J1pc/s1600/IMG_2216.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Walls and ceiling are painted Topsail, by Sherwin Williams. It's my go-to pale blue, and I use it in my kitchen and mudroom as well. I won't lie... there were 2 almost full gallons of this in the basement, so I wasn't about to spend $30 on a new can of paint! I'm super classy, so i mixed the remainder of the satin and semi-gloss cans together to make sure i wouldn't run out. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iaNY335JPt59ldgArGe4oFgJNN4GNQbvsqoHLU5Owwu4XacTRVWLEICkMC3UtODkps7OKRCFjQb4cGv6p9YeotjCnU1-g096SA-RBWZRBnQ_FjdygG2SfYo7g6zDGmxO58f1C0lTXmg/s1600/IMG_2217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5iaNY335JPt59ldgArGe4oFgJNN4GNQbvsqoHLU5Owwu4XacTRVWLEICkMC3UtODkps7OKRCFjQb4cGv6p9YeotjCnU1-g096SA-RBWZRBnQ_FjdygG2SfYo7g6zDGmxO58f1C0lTXmg/s1600/IMG_2217.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> You can't see them well, but on the floor I have two vintage tool boxes. One has real tools in it (such as my hot glue gun- surprise!), and the other has stationary and cards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those wooden plaques from the craft store make easy photo displays... sometimes I have the girls' artwork up there, sometimes an important word or verse. Hot glue a clothespin onto a piece of wood- it's as simple as that.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZj7hFCoCWnPc2DQ6X0H2a95Rq9d-G_1Ht9O7L7JINCT_jVAA-WGj-1ZzCNu4InUnO-o5wsH5IK2dFzT6w3P9yn7A5vy-f8RkQKaLtQPecET21w9zFiZ5qO5EZVeZxaDI6KlnSvQrd2eY/s1600/IMG_2218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZj7hFCoCWnPc2DQ6X0H2a95Rq9d-G_1Ht9O7L7JINCT_jVAA-WGj-1ZzCNu4InUnO-o5wsH5IK2dFzT6w3P9yn7A5vy-f8RkQKaLtQPecET21w9zFiZ5qO5EZVeZxaDI6KlnSvQrd2eY/s1600/IMG_2218.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Painting all that brown wainscoting white took DAYS, so I'm waiting for inspiration before tackling the built-in desk/closet/shelf. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm open to color suggestions on this one...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi49PGPjBk97LQVWTvdP2qrgUcBI8BzR3xKiDDp8H9lZRnIYvOR7Ss7FAejtBd4wRh5Kal1FGvPKPJb6dOeDrRfsRsgheokbIJmLbl8iy37jTMm-CGqfdrZsYcpBXZaFqFRPUHA7TRTy28/s1600/IMG_2219.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi49PGPjBk97LQVWTvdP2qrgUcBI8BzR3xKiDDp8H9lZRnIYvOR7Ss7FAejtBd4wRh5Kal1FGvPKPJb6dOeDrRfsRsgheokbIJmLbl8iy37jTMm-CGqfdrZsYcpBXZaFqFRPUHA7TRTy28/s1600/IMG_2219.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My favorite piece:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrnlPToXxE2MsLQkBLFosTkJiSjSAc5MPgxYBSthAf7QKciWkYZ5F_y4H7Uj5LMYmxYkpwM0unzEigId4vVUWHI852wusCZis8-rS8CPHJOjSczg7HBdywyDcFBCQTXQQpEzyYEyrlfs/s1600/IMG_2222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHrnlPToXxE2MsLQkBLFosTkJiSjSAc5MPgxYBSthAf7QKciWkYZ5F_y4H7Uj5LMYmxYkpwM0unzEigId4vVUWHI852wusCZis8-rS8CPHJOjSczg7HBdywyDcFBCQTXQQpEzyYEyrlfs/s1600/IMG_2222.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if you can't read it, the quote is this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Woman's Sphere</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They talk about a woman's sphere</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As tho' it had a limit-</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's not a place in Earth of Heaven,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's not a task to mankind given, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's not a blessing or a woe,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's not a whispered yes or no,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's not a life, or death, or birth, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That has a feather's weight of worth-</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Without a woman in it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-M. Walker </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My second favorite piece is this lamp... it's huge & obnoxiously girly, and I went back to the antique mall three times before i decided to buy it. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK3n2d-tfe_8AnvhV2JyRBq2LANNHxjHPpRt7HIGYBB_Q5rqhzMcBjZc79_QUKusE47jTuu2Rfk3w3Wat1-VPEIFXU9fTOBztpFBXKQO7vSOhuiyWFwfWwBOn1GKdopqitCVUdhRoJDoQ/s1600/IMG_2223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK3n2d-tfe_8AnvhV2JyRBq2LANNHxjHPpRt7HIGYBB_Q5rqhzMcBjZc79_QUKusE47jTuu2Rfk3w3Wat1-VPEIFXU9fTOBztpFBXKQO7vSOhuiyWFwfWwBOn1GKdopqitCVUdhRoJDoQ/s1600/IMG_2223.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The latest addition to my favorite things is this card from a cherished friend... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bloom Where You Are Planted, indeed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI_pDXX-DwB-6shR99oEpFNlKC_i9jHKdJ0XyD2JFGOsQ9szsaqbCWtOT_X4Eoi3Oqad9v_SlMzuJKgnSXE8E0WVB9POAOzSjRVMLRUw5pvCIkmJLGFFHzTPsS7EVLOAnHYUQGqOiBy_c/s1600/IMG_2547.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI_pDXX-DwB-6shR99oEpFNlKC_i9jHKdJ0XyD2JFGOsQ9szsaqbCWtOT_X4Eoi3Oqad9v_SlMzuJKgnSXE8E0WVB9POAOzSjRVMLRUw5pvCIkmJLGFFHzTPsS7EVLOAnHYUQGqOiBy_c/s1600/IMG_2547.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So this is where I am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A nice place to bloom, I think. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzLMEElKkFLRlI95LB1XOodfHCs61lNi6A_YQ0k5XzZa1_A2851u12sTDgU99x4RvpwdA_GnNLDfAoaYUEXf3VgC1oiOarTouL1DuIVmqP1wDCwCd_WTdVIgIneUnohkQE52ZZgRllLoE/s1600/IMG_2220.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzLMEElKkFLRlI95LB1XOodfHCs61lNi6A_YQ0k5XzZa1_A2851u12sTDgU99x4RvpwdA_GnNLDfAoaYUEXf3VgC1oiOarTouL1DuIVmqP1wDCwCd_WTdVIgIneUnohkQE52ZZgRllLoE/s1600/IMG_2220.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<br />rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-26292938311676969622014-07-24T17:25:00.000-07:002014-07-24T17:56:45.972-07:00how and why<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>this is a story of an important moment. it is one i'm ashamed to share, but i'm burdened to write. i would love to know if you have similar moments- ones that shape your interaction with others forever after. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">do you ever know something is wrong, but maybe not <i>why or how</i> it is wrong? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew the rules of the carpool line... i knew it was a huge pain in my rear end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that only 6 cars could fit in the actual pick up zone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that usually only 5 would make it in the zone before dismissal because that gray minivan would get there 30 minutes early and not pull up all the way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that it was best for me to park down the street and walk to the classroom door, thus avoiding the carpool line altogether. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that if i didn't get to Caroline's school 10 minutes early that i'd be 5 minutes late to get across town to Julia's school.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew it every day for almost a year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew (only very recently) that julia was on the autism spectrum.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i barely knew what autism was, only that it is not what i had previously assumed from movies and television.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew very little.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that julia had an exceptionally hard time at dismissal if i wasn't one of the first to arrive.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew she couldn't tell me what was bothering her- she didn't have the words, and she may not have the understanding of what she felt even if the words were easily accessible.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i just knew i needed to be there on time, and i knew i was late.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew that parking in designated 'handicapped permit only' spots is illegal. there were two of these right in front of the school- right by the carpool line- right by julia's classroom.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">as i pulled into line behind 10 other cars (remember, only 5 in the pickup zone at a time!!), i could see her melting down. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">falling. sobbing. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>was it the chaos of the end of the day routine? </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>was it the kids shouting and moving in all directions,</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">moms laughing with each other as their kids came pouring out the door? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>was it that end of day tiredness of a </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>4 year old who wasn't getting the nap her body still needed? </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>was it all the things </i></span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i didn't know to pull from her diet? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>was it something else i wasn't doing for her?</i></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i didn't know. my head was spinning with not knowing.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i did know i would only be in that handicapped spot for 2 minutes.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew i shouldn't, but i didn't really know why. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i pulled into the second blue-lined spot a little crooked- a lot crooked, actually- an oversized SUV doesn't easily maneuver past the carpool line and into that front row parking. i jumped out next to a van with a wheelchair lift on the back.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i didn't notice. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">all i saw was my baby screaming.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdSNz4qz7zvqLW2Ja3Mempis-uyFTz0J9hT1NCNm2T-fCkx4l6FopeGWL18yMJauI_IKvNqc8BuTKZDOK-GSIO0YLFg0P6I62l55xnObNtreehUwEvIBob6POkRsAfKZ3FfbMGTpCaCEI/s1600/4T9a46rTE.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdSNz4qz7zvqLW2Ja3Mempis-uyFTz0J9hT1NCNm2T-fCkx4l6FopeGWL18yMJauI_IKvNqc8BuTKZDOK-GSIO0YLFg0P6I62l55xnObNtreehUwEvIBob6POkRsAfKZ3FfbMGTpCaCEI/s1600/4T9a46rTE.jpeg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">all he saw was 'THAT mom.' </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he knew who i was, stepping out in my suburban mom uniform- black yoga pants, college t-shirt, oversized sunglasses.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he knew that i was THAT woman- the one who didn't have a sticker or placard to declare my need for this parking space.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he knew i didn't have a disabled child, and therefore shouldn't be there.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he knew i wasn't the parent of a child in a wheelchair- i wasn't in his shoes.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>he knew someone like me was in this designated parking spot 9 out of 10 times he came to the school to pick up his son.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he saw me, and he saw red.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he spoke loud, angry words- gesturing and shouting as he grabbed his phone to call the police.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i looked over at julia on the ground by the school, and i murmured a half-coherent apology to the man.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i climbed back into my crooked behemoth and drove down the block. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i held myself together as i jog-walked with caroline back to the school. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the carpool line all but empty now. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">julia lay exhausted on the ground, dirt stuck in the tears and snot on her cheeks.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">caroline asked why that man yelled at me.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the teachers asked if everything was okay.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and i knew.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i knew he was right.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">though i fought it for several hours after- my gut aching, my tears close to the surface, feeling indignant and ashamed by turns- i still knew he had a right to be angry. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>that place was a convenience for me; it was a necessity for his son.</i> </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">his son- the one with the enormous smile, floppy blonde hair, and the shiny red wheelchair- he needed that close parking space. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">his son- the one with the life altering illness, unpredictable seizures, and exhausted, frightened parents- i was making the afternoon longer and more difficult for him, possibly threatening his health.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he is the 'why' in 'i didn't know why i shouldn't.' </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">he is the 'how' in 'i didn't know how wrong it was.'</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">illegal parking aside... now i know the boy, and i know the how and why.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and i imagine a better scene, of course... where i pull into that spot next to him and he comes over with his son. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">where we introduce ourselves and our children. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">where we find out that they share special education teachers & therapy groups. where we discover that she holds his hand during their ABA circle time. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">where he shows me the how and the why- </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">how if he can't park there, his son can't physically get onto the wheelchair lift. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">why my taking that place hurts his family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>where he has 1000 times more patience than any parent possibly could because he has been in this situation every day of his son's life.</b></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know i can't put that on him. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i'm just sorry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i wish i could tell him how profoundly that interaction has affected me, and how changed i am because i met him, angry as he was.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">how often i think of him and his son. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">what i know now:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if i can make that kind of decision, justifying a behavior i know is wrong...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if i can blindly hurt someone else when all i was focused on helping my child...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if i can be the one making someone else's day that much harder...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know i also need to be the one to take responsibility- "i'm so sorry. i know i was wrong. i won't do it again. please forgive me."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know to have more patience when others do the same to me- "here's the how and the why of what just happened here. i know you didn't know. i forgive you."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i know to look up from my own need, my own circumstances- to consider those around me. to notice something other than myself. "i see you. i don't know what it's like in your life, but i would like to try." </span></div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-86726921159220198812014-03-20T06:29:00.000-07:002014-03-20T06:29:15.086-07:00hopeful<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="selected" original-title="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">i thank my God </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">in all my remembrance of you, </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now.</span><span class="verse-num" id="v50001006-1" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: top;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;"> and i am sure of this, that He who began </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">a good work in you </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">will bring it to completion at </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">the day of Jesus Christ.</span><span class="" original-title="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <i>it is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you </i></span><i><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">in my heart, for you are all </span><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">partakers with me of grace... ~philippians 1:3-7</span></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">it's just hard being in a new place. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">there's nothing profoundly mysterious about that, is there? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">new is a lot of things, including:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">challenging, exhausting, uncomfortable. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 25.920001983642578px; vertical-align: baseline;">refreshing, reviving, exhilarating. </span><span class="synList" style="line-height: 18px; text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><span class="gp tg_syn" style="font-variant: normal;"> </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="line-height: 18px; text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><span class="gp tg_syn" style="font-variant: normal;">new is wide-open opportunity and suffocating unfamiliarity.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="line-height: 18px; text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><span class="gp tg_syn" style="font-variant: normal;">it is beautiful and terrifying.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="color: #111111; line-height: 18px; text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><span class="gp tg_syn" style="font-variant: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">i'm not sure if it's the new that is hard, or the presence of old (restful, familiar, warm) that makes forging ahead difficult. after all, wouldn't new be all wonderful if you were leaving something awful? </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">we didn't leave awful. we left wonderful, knowing full well that we were heading in the right direction. there's a peace in that... but peaceful does not equal easy. it can be tough to walk in the right direction, even painful. when our direction is away from good, it sometimes doesn't matter that it is also towards a new good. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">so yes- new place. hard.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">missing the friends who are our family. crazy hard.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">missing easy presence- the effortless place where we know and are known. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">achingly hard.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><i><b>but there is so much hope in the hard.</b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">hope.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">if we had never had the good... </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">the friendships that relentlessly poured grace and love into our insecurity and filled us to overflowing; </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">the church that brokenly and beautifully sought Jesus and our community; </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">the city that gave us freedom to explore and enjoy and fall in love with its people.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">if we had never experienced that kind of good, would we know to miss it? look for it? ask for it, work to find it in our new place?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">if we hadn't had the good, we wouldn't have so much hope of it here. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">wouldn't long for it in ways that drive us to fling open our doors and invite others inside. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">wouldn't thirst for it enough to run around this new place- seeking, asking, knocking.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">but we <u>did</u>, and we <u>do</u>- <i>so much hope for the friends and love in this place</i>. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">this new city, this new church, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">these new friends.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="synList" style="text-indent: -14px;"><span class="synGroup"><span class="syn t_core"><span class="gp tg_syn"><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">and hope in the midst of hard is enough.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<br />rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-28931447086002120202014-03-18T05:57:00.000-07:002014-03-18T05:57:06.452-07:00because it feels good<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we went to the <a href="http://www.ctsciencecenter.org/">Connecticut Science Center</a> last weekend with a precious new friend. (thank you, natalia- we loved it, and we love you!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">caroline immediately took natalia's hand and explored (and loved) nearly every inch of the 6 story building.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">julia and i? no, we stayed in one room and did very little adventuring.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i sat in one place for most of the 2 1/2 hours we were there. i did a 93% good job of being present, staying off my phone, watching my girl, and enjoying her as she enjoyed the exhibit. julia stayed at the water table area for all but 30 minutes of our visit- mesmerized by every part of it. no, mostly mesmerized by ONE part of it: a sort of lazy river for small plastic balls that then shoots them several feet in the air on a vertical stream of water. the ball ends in a large transparent whirlpool that pulls it back to the lazy river... over and over again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">what is more engaging than</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> an endless cycle of water and motion?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhf4qxu0t0Afv-Uqf5wSsGSGAkLG2br_pDFbmSZNHJzVqn4_WxxXVPHi3KhRMA2BZz6hWWDq6QhEZFB3kGRZUf098-F2lBH1GhCiF87qIgvOVZuZMSsnIhTASHgxdnln19X_UNsJ-huzE/s1600/IMG_1459.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhf4qxu0t0Afv-Uqf5wSsGSGAkLG2br_pDFbmSZNHJzVqn4_WxxXVPHi3KhRMA2BZz6hWWDq6QhEZFB3kGRZUf098-F2lBH1GhCiF87qIgvOVZuZMSsnIhTASHgxdnln19X_UNsJ-huzE/s1600/IMG_1459.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">there are roughly 30 multicolor balls in this interactive exhibit. children can touch the water, splash the balls around, move them to different parts of the feature, watch them go up, down and around... it truly hits every one of their senses. (yup- taste, too. you don't think those kiddos put their mouths on everything?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">julia did all of this, but she also hopped, danced, bounced, waved her arms, clapped. we call this '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stimming">stimming</a>,' short for self-stimulation. often julia's stimming involves galloping or skipping across a room, usually on a diagonal line- corner to corner. occasionally it is more recognizable as an autistic trait- hand and arm flapping, turning in circles, but it mostly looks like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>a young child having a wonderful time, expressing her joy in motion. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>she is happy, and it feels good to bounce. clap. twirl. gallop. dance.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">we asked our first occupational therapist about this, way back at the beginning of our journey- </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">why does she always throw things? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>why is she always always always moving?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">her answer:<i> because it feels better to throw and move than to be still.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>and it really is that simple.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">just like the water exhibit, julia is an endless cycle of motion and emotion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">being in motion helps her to filter, sort, and understand her emotions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">some say that we need to teach her better coping behaviors- coach her towards more socially acceptable self-soothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">but as i look at her today? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">bouncing, smiling, laughing, galloping... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">doing what feels good and makes her feel happy? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i don't really think so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">no thanks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>(clearly i'm not advocating free reign to do whatever feels good no matter the cost... </i></span><br />
<i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">YOLO & whatnot. you understand?)</i></div>
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rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-54782969668956268782014-03-15T10:34:00.000-07:002014-03-15T10:34:32.586-07:00good things <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. our home gets lovely natural light, as well as large patches of warm sunlight in many rooms. our dog and cat shift from room to room throughout the day, following the sunspots and letting the heat penetrate their weary, old bones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. there was enough coffee left in the pot to make a perfect noon pick me up cup- not so much that i'll never fall asleep this evening, but just the right amount to warm my hands and keep me from eating the chocolate peanut butter cups (with sea salt) i've made for our guests. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. there is plenty of chocolate almond milk to make that little cup perfectly decadent. i don't need a peanut butter cup. i don't. no, i'm fine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. the corner of the living room in front of me looks exactly the way i want it- if i sit here, i can forget that it is the only place in my home i've completed the decor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. caroline's eighth birthday is this week, and i believe she will be so pleased with her gifts- this is not an extraordinary thing, but a good thing. it means she won't be overwhelmed with so much 'stuff' that she forgets to be thankful and enjoy each gift thoroughly. too many gifts are not as good as just a few good gifts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6. caroline is turning 8. the baby girl that made me a mama- the one who arrived so quickly and violently, then slowly and persistently changed me to the core. the one who asks the deepest, hardest questions, then follows them with silly giggles and the fleeting attention span of a little girl. the one who has shown me definitively that raising a child to be a grown up person is the hardest thing in the world. love is vastly different than i ever expected.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">7. almost every person who has visited our home has brought a plant or flower of some kind... there is green and blooming life in each room, and i love it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">8. there is not a mouse in my living room, although it sounds exactly like a teeny little mouseling when the wind blows the tree branches against the bay window.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">9. i love having a bay window again- this home reminds me of the first home we owned on Holly Drive, with it's bay window and divided light panes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">10. matt is wandering the property... praying, meditating, thinking, possibly smoking a cigar?, and practicing for his sermon tomorrow. that's just a good thing- no explanation needed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i think i *may* need a peanut butter cup. just one. </span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-89258467437018748482014-03-06T09:21:00.003-08:002014-03-06T09:21:53.842-08:00dreaming and running<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">there's this question that has me thinking... doing a little more dreaming, asking, praying, listening than usual. it's all <a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/">Jennie Allen's fault</a>, really. she just keeps writing these <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Anything-Prayer-That-Unlocked-Soul/dp/0849947057/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394119930&sr=1-1&keywords=anything+by+jennie+allen">books</a> that open these big honkin' cans of worms and now the worms are everywhere so i have to deal with them. <b>gross</b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in <a href="http://www.jennieallen.com/studies/restless/">Restless</a>, she asks 'what stops you from dreaming, from running full steam ahead after your dreams?' </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">well crap. more specifically: worm crap. everywhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">because i've been walking towards this question for a while. it seems that turning 35 and leaving the city i've lived in for the first decade of married life has spawned something of a midlife 'crisis.' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">who am i if my kids are in school and i don't have a job?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">what do i do with wide open space: time, resources, gifts, skills?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">where do i begin to figure out my purpose?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i do have a purpose, don't i? doesn't everyone?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and when you open up <u>that</u> question- does my life have a purpose- you arrive at one of 3 conclusions (with thanks to <a href="http://rebekahlyons.com/">Rebekah Lyons</a> for giving these categories): </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. no. my life has no purpose- God did not intend for me to do anything that matters with my time on earth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. yes, my life <i>could</i> have a purpose, but i may never know what it is or be able to fulfill it in the years i have before me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. yes. God created me to have a purpose. my life has meaning beyond just breathing & eating, and i have all the tools i need to accomplish His plan for today somewhere within me, readily available. tomorrow's plan may require different tools, and they will be there when i need them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>(just in case you're wondering, i'm calling BS on #1 and #2).</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">in Restless, Jennie Allen says it this way, "Without some effort, we will waste our minutes, our days... our lives. So putting thought into spending our time and resources for the glory of God may be the most important thing we can do. Think of it this way:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God's story + my materials + need + the Holy Spirit = my purpose."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">hence the dreaming... what needs do i see? how do i feel about them? do i have a role in meeting them? what is stopping me from jumping in- running 'full steam ahead?'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">what is stopping me from dreaming and running?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">100 things. i won't list all 100. phew.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~my girls~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">sadly, i use my kids as an excuse to sit on the sideline while the runners complete their race. sometimes it's necessary to pull over; they need my attention, my focus, and my energy. but let's be honest: my daughters need to see me dreaming and running my race, not hiding behind them. they are not a hindrance to my life's purpose. kids are not speed bumps, not hurdles to get past. they are a part of my race, and they are supposed to come along with me. how else will they learn to run?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~my marriage~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">somewhere i picked up some funny notions of what it means to be a pastor's wife- i don't even have the words now to really unpack this. just that it means things that i am not and may not ever be, if that makes sense. so in order to fill this 'role' (as if it has <u>one</u> definition), i cannot really be me or have my own purpose outside of his calling to lead and shepherd our church. huh... i'm picking up on this for the first time, so excuse my confusion. seems like i'll need to return to this one at some point? i'd rather shove this particular worm back in the can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~insecurity~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">oh insecurity. we <a href="http://www.amazon.com/So-Long-Insecurity-Youve-Friend/dp/1414334729">studied this</a>, didn't we <a href="http://www.riversidestl.org/">friends</a>? i'm done with it- i'm secure now. i know who i am because i know who God is and i no longer struggle with how others perceive me! (again, let's call BS). </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i still worry that if i put myself forward, i'll be perceived as prideful or arrogant, thinking too much of myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~motive~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">or that i'll actually BE prideful and arrogant and think too much of myself! what is my motive for wanting to run this race? am i seeking to raise up the Lord and point others to Him, or am i hoping they'll look at me and think i'm awesome?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~false humility~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i usually apologize for being good at anything. </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; text-align: center;">where does that come from?! </b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">is it being Southern? or a woman? or a good little Christian woman? or a Southern Christian Woman? just human? it's this funny take on humility- don't actually DO anything because that would be prideful. drop my dreams and gifts out the back door because if i take them up and use them, i'm arrogant. this can not be true... God doesn't give me gifts to see me blush and pass myself off as demure and humble. humility is when i USE my gifts and am thankful to God for giving them, yes? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~fear~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i'll screw something up royally because i am wrong- this is not what i'm actually supposed to be doing. or i'm not strong enough to persevere when it gets sticky... or i'll step on someone's toes, and then there's conflict and i'm afraid of conflict... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">or... or... or...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">all those 'or' fears start to pile up after a while.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">~and this nameless thing~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">it may be fear, it may be insecurity... but what if my purpose is very very small? i don't long for fame or notoriety (i'd be a pathetic celebrity), but i think i do expect 'purpose' to mean impact. if i run hard enough, i should create </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a little breeze, right? when you open yourself to God's purpose, He accomplishes things- He changes you & your future changes. but what if that thing He wants to accomplish in me is very tiny? maybe this is comparison- the thief of joy. maybe comparison is also the thief of dreaming toward my purpose?</span>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">dreaming... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">darn it, Jennie Allen. stop spilling worms everywhere. it's so messy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-39655017042530640472014-03-05T11:33:00.000-08:002014-03-05T11:37:38.421-08:00maybe... thoughts on an unscheduled afternoon<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll fold the 4 baskets of laundry sitting behind me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll wash that sticky spot on the table that's been driving me bonkers- what is that?! honey? jam? maybe i don't want to know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll make an appointment for a haircut for which i am at least 8 weeks beyond desperately overdue.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll take a shower- that is also overdue, but not quite 8 weeks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll look into what the library does with overdue book fines when you move 1000 miles away- do they accumulate indefinitely? will i be arrested for a 10 cent fine from 3 months ago? maybe not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll finish hanging the pictures in julia's room so i can take the hammer & toolbox off her dresser. they do clash with her current decor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll find the craft supplies i want for my <a href="http://ifgathering.com/if/table/">IF:Table</a> dinner on Sunday (so excited about this- you should totally do it).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll scrub the grout on the kitchen floor (i discovered that it's actually <u>white</u> grout, so the fact that it is <b>BLACK</b> is pretty much killing me now).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll get to work setting up the guest room for our first guests at the end of the month- seriously giddy about this visit!! and caroline would be pleased to no longer have a queen size mattress on the floor of her bedroom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll finish one of the 8 books i'm currently in the middle of reading- or maybe i'll just start another one, too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll figure out how to Instagram. it's still culturally relevant, yes?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll meditate, ponder, sit in silence, listen, abide in the uncomfortable tension of the first day of Lent and my limited grasp of what it means to remember Jesus' love and death.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i'll watch Bones on Netflix.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">maybe i should definitely shower- i think that's me i'm smelling.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">or maybe i'll resurrect a blog i haven't written on in almost 4 years... my <a href="http://mattblazer.wordpress.com/">husband</a> will be pleased.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-84980361189965343532011-11-06T16:23:00.000-08:002011-11-06T16:24:42.734-08:00a celebration<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>(this is one </i><i>of a few </i><i>thoughts i've had lately about being a pastors wife</i><i>. i know that i am learning, and i know i will look back in 1 year, 5 years and 20 years and realize how foolish i was at 33. the Lord is graciously adding layers to my learning, and i am thankful that i can be completely ridiculous and completely loved at the same time.)</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">we celebrated 10 years of Riverside Church today.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">as we sang and laughed and worshipped today, i just kept looking around the room... every face has such an incredible story. some stories i know intimately; some i'm just barely acquainted with (i hope that changes with time). every person there brings so much depth and pain and joy and beauty to our church family. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">those are the stories of our Lord's gracious and passionate love for His children. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">has our church experienced sadness and loss together? absolutely.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">have we weathered conflict together? certainly. sometimes well, sometimes poorly.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">have we celebrated happy moments, births, marriages and small joys together? more than it is possible to count. so many blessings in 10 years!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">do we mourn the loss of our family members when they move on? deeply. constantly.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">but are we solidly aware of the Lord's faithfulness to us? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">how He has never failed to provide Godly men to lead us and teach us? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">how He has kept us in communion with each other for 10 years in order to grow us into the men and women He sees inside us?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">how God alone is worthy of the praise and glory for all the good we have seen in these 10 years?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">without a doubt. </span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">i thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And i am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. it is right for me to feel this way about you all, because i hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. for God is my witness, how i yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Phillippians 1:3-11</span></i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>*if you can read that scripture out loud three times while picturing all those in your church family (or better yet, in a room full of them) and your eyes don't fill with tears... well, i don't know. i can't even type it without crying. </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-28624242977461328712011-11-04T06:45:00.000-07:002011-11-04T06:45:35.128-07:00pictures i never posted... from august. oops.<i>(i know i said i was posting about being the sweaty pastor's wife, but in unearthing the blog i discovered these pictures that i wanted to share... more to come later!)</i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">we went to Estes Park, Colorado in August with matt's mom, brother and sister... it was a great trip! <br /> i took tons of pictures. and did nothing with them.<br />so here they are... out of order because i can't get my brain around rearranging them right now.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5XKsZteSd0vV5WXHyeULtfkpdkW3vb9bbedHX-chvaJ5QtUfdvTigS_infnJzTIPjjPbhn-C_HWrNjaXY4jMUrvdWns7JY0Vt3HQ5ppKWKUpZQf0pf9se8tk5NI00E-4duu0mPraauSo/s1600/IMG_1258.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641189817141512338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5XKsZteSd0vV5WXHyeULtfkpdkW3vb9bbedHX-chvaJ5QtUfdvTigS_infnJzTIPjjPbhn-C_HWrNjaXY4jMUrvdWns7JY0Vt3HQ5ppKWKUpZQf0pf9se8tk5NI00E-4duu0mPraauSo/s640/IMG_1258.JPG" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">these are the 'trunki' suitcases we got for the girls... they love them!</span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp7IZPUZcNXgdp558Kc4XSrqpNIroufvgUPnYqJRaSgBh6hb85eYsF9hIlAuTAKDnLS3LPuj7JSXxupY1wDlT4UOXmu2O8l0fsBjGal7ehLBbUAosx-LbL5_8ZjLwgrvWeqTrr22uTgD8/s1600/IMG_1256.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641189803121687506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp7IZPUZcNXgdp558Kc4XSrqpNIroufvgUPnYqJRaSgBh6hb85eYsF9hIlAuTAKDnLS3LPuj7JSXxupY1wDlT4UOXmu2O8l0fsBjGal7ehLBbUAosx-LbL5_8ZjLwgrvWeqTrr22uTgD8/s640/IMG_1256.JPG" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="480" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">riding on trunki made the airport slightly more entertaining for everyone!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMx_4G5aY92TAoQcCEwLaxc6TwWem3nySbxXkqKNTJF0MlaxaQ7bAslnJqOH0voU7vFFZ2v-kEIdowY93vgcoakx-RNwOqavCMJ9fvym0kaYpfe5arnJpqQuy6oVFAFOuJPfmD46NKl5o/s1600/IMG_1255.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641189809864057874" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMx_4G5aY92TAoQcCEwLaxc6TwWem3nySbxXkqKNTJF0MlaxaQ7bAslnJqOH0voU7vFFZ2v-kEIdowY93vgcoakx-RNwOqavCMJ9fvym0kaYpfe5arnJpqQuy6oVFAFOuJPfmD46NKl5o/s640/IMG_1255.JPG" style="cursor: move; display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">i thought the sign behind julia was really appropriate... anyone who knows about her language delays will understand this!</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZtDopb9VQa1r9LKPvb01XcXeGShaFlgI7oUdY7Ryj6O3t_nxSE5W_IZoVDL7CZnArtS3MIDlDEvL75chGEFWruuhsN1xCXqguVRwfOJ15h9YNWycZkAW9Vx-UpDvVvrBIY-kwBp4B1TU/s1600/IMG_1298.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZtDopb9VQa1r9LKPvb01XcXeGShaFlgI7oUdY7Ryj6O3t_nxSE5W_IZoVDL7CZnArtS3MIDlDEvL75chGEFWruuhsN1xCXqguVRwfOJ15h9YNWycZkAW9Vx-UpDvVvrBIY-kwBp4B1TU/s640/IMG_1298.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">favorite pastime- throwing rocks in the water</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9cIjELUqydNIIehzfw07zoFtF4l2n9QXsRIpSFIE2AvqRNFuwvuJCFZfRRGx2X8DY9t8DbZpdo-RpnZq2cGlgJMRxOrT0CKC8C7mdpY-hk0WYbrYxVODVvGWxS3Ap9gNNnq3gFsFzW7U/s1600/IMG_1303.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9cIjELUqydNIIehzfw07zoFtF4l2n9QXsRIpSFIE2AvqRNFuwvuJCFZfRRGx2X8DY9t8DbZpdo-RpnZq2cGlgJMRxOrT0CKC8C7mdpY-hk0WYbrYxVODVvGWxS3Ap9gNNnq3gFsFzW7U/s640/IMG_1303.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">we need a creek in our yard, i think.</span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6gILUSo5xEBKt4auq7_M06GU-2ou1xCJY7gjWSxPdy4NmFvXvG6fu8ie3JJr18JQJfs-ZRTSCEq9oQqcLbaMjvmgLG3Nk1dwHI3tlIjQcnWHVxQXhV6pTMLpgzCX3aanO3z0cqiWttl8/s1600/IMG_1304.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6gILUSo5xEBKt4auq7_M06GU-2ou1xCJY7gjWSxPdy4NmFvXvG6fu8ie3JJr18JQJfs-ZRTSCEq9oQqcLbaMjvmgLG3Nk1dwHI3tlIjQcnWHVxQXhV6pTMLpgzCX3aanO3z0cqiWttl8/s640/IMG_1304.JPG" width="480" /></span></a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">love</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">back off, mom.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLL84YLquUP8j-N-rWip2YQUzLI8amjzUr2s9TXy5MAd4-U3LBc29SwyTQL39H4ppwozst_ThhvsklFXYj4lIgz7Ck9ZNh9-gFuX6b76sUEjDgzyIJ_OM14fB5-EPqZjlQGd05vQcNbfA/s1600/IMG_1311.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLL84YLquUP8j-N-rWip2YQUzLI8amjzUr2s9TXy5MAd4-U3LBc29SwyTQL39H4ppwozst_ThhvsklFXYj4lIgz7Ck9ZNh9-gFuX6b76sUEjDgzyIJ_OM14fB5-EPqZjlQGd05vQcNbfA/s640/IMG_1311.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">saved from falling in the river!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">playing as the sun sets and the fly fishermen do their thing...</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">happy</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIn1VfaC-H4SMTi4Em1Awj24iLaPrW_hH9jQfUs31mPBfxAKupd4ihKV9IoF-vE3Ajwj5rqpAIdZsaBCUlmbw-8bxXz2-1JbFo63RpKdmT5LBCfOBGm9zWrvmbI9CT26fcnA8fm34XzM/s1600/IMG_1266.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIn1VfaC-H4SMTi4Em1Awj24iLaPrW_hH9jQfUs31mPBfxAKupd4ihKV9IoF-vE3Ajwj5rqpAIdZsaBCUlmbw-8bxXz2-1JbFo63RpKdmT5LBCfOBGm9zWrvmbI9CT26fcnA8fm34XzM/s640/IMG_1266.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">we celebrated all the summer birthdays with cake- somehow caroline managed to sneak the spotlight even though her birthday was in March.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KZ6LVo6z-TiVwnJIw_pDSkQMGLLv6fL516Ib1sji-Vg9svjXtC0SzlZM_7uBvDJKEtveu41B7O0RYoVNrdsNIf_MbTseh9Tr4a4UayQDQDGhDbV5nZ7KDFNjBCSzUa-Oj0KlZQJs70g/s1600/IMG_1267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KZ6LVo6z-TiVwnJIw_pDSkQMGLLv6fL516Ib1sji-Vg9svjXtC0SzlZM_7uBvDJKEtveu41B7O0RYoVNrdsNIf_MbTseh9Tr4a4UayQDQDGhDbV5nZ7KDFNjBCSzUa-Oj0KlZQJs70g/s640/IMG_1267.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">it was actually Uncle Russell's birthday, so we let him help Caroline blow out the candles.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrhLXGwhkyhMTY3-KjhAj3MqmEzCai055NZ74e0rcqWzL2pS5ley1rnRvFto5W_1O6HxmSwEseOBeMYd6eexevznsGPN7xsW_hAlNgR5xfbcDlDauTQv534Vbr9zB1GVqxza8nIu8Csk/s1600/IMG_1261.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641189830039230850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrhLXGwhkyhMTY3-KjhAj3MqmEzCai055NZ74e0rcqWzL2pS5ley1rnRvFto5W_1O6HxmSwEseOBeMYd6eexevznsGPN7xsW_hAlNgR5xfbcDlDauTQv534Vbr9zB1GVqxza8nIu8Csk/s640/IMG_1261.JPG" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">uncle russell mesmerizing caroline with a garter snake... we think. </span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFoGsNwpYZAgXnFs6CiZzPgL4Ini7cILka57rH-_himcBNFrElUulDPrvdH3aUvzyVM_xzgf-LKJkeHTGNxbvzElen3_U3idEk74PmmZvo7tN4o0_I8YAt_jhSzbdkt4-NUnzcBjgsgM/s1600/IMG_1259.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641189822633993010" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJFoGsNwpYZAgXnFs6CiZzPgL4Ini7cILka57rH-_himcBNFrElUulDPrvdH3aUvzyVM_xzgf-LKJkeHTGNxbvzElen3_U3idEk74PmmZvo7tN4o0_I8YAt_jhSzbdkt4-NUnzcBjgsgM/s640/IMG_1259.JPG" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">everyone wanted to play with the snake... julia is naked because she just finished throwing up all over the garage. (quite an introduction to the 'significant others' who were meeting us for the first time! "nice to meet you- here's some vomit.")</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">anyway- the snake was just the first of the wildlife we encountered. lots of elk on the fields and golf course, a bear in a tree while i was running, and lots of great birds!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjliQlNdkbWYeQa-SBWumC8csCn32af4t7Ef8AMF2-t0VJ1kzPpEtmdTys80STNE7aP2wUFw5xNOleOEw3zV-aLOv24N8wG5dTkQc7SWYcKwrxfRUhhuuamjzRkYIiDHLc5oEIMFxvk5AE/s1600/IMG_1273.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjliQlNdkbWYeQa-SBWumC8csCn32af4t7Ef8AMF2-t0VJ1kzPpEtmdTys80STNE7aP2wUFw5xNOleOEw3zV-aLOv24N8wG5dTkQc7SWYcKwrxfRUhhuuamjzRkYIiDHLc5oEIMFxvk5AE/s640/IMG_1273.JPG" width="480" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">sisters</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: small;">thank you, grandma ginny! this was a wonderful memory-making trip... can't believe i don't have any pictures of caroline playing miniature golf! she LOVED that so much... i see a future bad golfer in the family! : )</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-43343255317703426982011-11-03T11:24:00.000-07:002011-11-03T11:24:04.601-07:00on being a pastor's wife...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i feel like an unlikely pastor's wife... i don't live up to the image i've created of the lovely, gracious, patient, radiant woman who perfectly supports her pastor husband. </span><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">in reality, i am scattered. hurried. sometimes gracious, but more often self-involved and impatient with others. definitely not radiant- most often sweaty (why?? why am i always sweating on sunday mornings?). that's me- i'm the sweaty pastor's wife. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>ugh</b>.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i just returned from a retreat for ministry wives for our denomination (<a href="http://epcwomeninministry.org/">EPC</a>). </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">know what i learned? </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>there are others like me.</b> </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> (poor things- i'm not calling you sweaty. maybe you've found a more effective anti-perspirant?) </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">while all the women i met were certainly gracious and lovely, they did not make me feel like they had it all together. they prayed for the same things i pray for. they worry about their church, their husbands, their children and their future in the same ways i worry. they get annoyed- bitter, even; we all get annoyed. they focus on the wrong things, and then feel the Lord turning their attention back to Him. they can't change everything with a wave of their hands or even a special evening of prayer. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the best thing they have in common with me? sometimes they all wish their husbands had a nice job in a nice office where they go from 8:00-5:00 every day. this was particularly freeing for me, as i think this way about once a month. or i ask if i can move away to a cave where there are no people... </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i'm not the only one who feels this way. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">or, as <a href="http://mattblazer.wordpress.com/">my husband</a> says, i'm not crazy.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">i have some thoughts. i may blog about them. you don't have to read them... just a warning. : ) </span></div>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-48420943616162106312011-08-17T08:53:00.000-07:002011-08-18T11:09:34.248-07:00water for the thirsty<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">have you ever had a day where you forget to drink anything? </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">maybe a cup of coffee (or 4) in the morning, maybe a stop by a water fountain with your kids at the park </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">(or a dixie cup from the office water cooler). </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">no drink with lunch, the afternoon slides by so fast. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">maybe you felt thirsty at some point, but you were SO busy that you couldn't stop. the thirst passes, so you forget to grab a drink when you can. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">home late- make dinner- talk to spouse & children- bedtime routines for kiddos- clean up the house.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> you finally slow down at 8:00 that night & you have a nagging headache. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> a few aspirin should do the trick, so you pour a glass of water to take </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 21px;">your pills.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">the moment the water hits your mouth you realize you are </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">massively thirsty... </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">cold, sweet, refreshing, & filling; the entire glass is gone before you even remember to take your aspirin. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> another glass- slower this time, but it just washes into every part of you that was tired & dry. it satisfies a part of you that you had pushed down all day long- you forgot that you were thirsty, and you forgot how completely filling a tall glass of water can be. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">sound familiar?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">this is my life, and God's Truth in the Bible is the water. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> i go and go and go- i push and fight and play and parent and laugh and whine and weep and pursue and run and think. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">and i'm so thirsty. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">nothing fills every aching, longing, exhausted part of my life like a clear message to my innermost heart from the Lord. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">no word from <a href="http://mattblazer.wordpress.com/">my husband,</a> although he is amazingly wise and loving. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">no encouragement from my friends, although they are insightful and bold with me. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">even a <a href="http://riversidestl.org/media.php?pageID=41">well-delivered, arrow sharp (directly sent to challenge my heart) sermon</a> from a <a href="http://preachingbarefoot.wordpress.com/">pastor and friend</a> is only a piece of my growth in relationship with God (albeit an important piece)!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">i believe without a moment's hesitation that the Bible is meant for us to read- to drink in Truth, to meditate on beauty, to ask God our deepest questions and fully, patiently wait for His answers.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">we can seek Him and find Him when we seek with all our hearts.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">(jeremiah 29:13)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">we can know the Truth, and the Truth will set us free.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">(john 8:32)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">we who are dry and thirsty can be made like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters do not fail.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">(isaiah 58:11)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">do you have a Bible study group you attend? </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">do you have a method for reading & learning on your own?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">i do, and i would love to <a href="http://bsfinternational.org/Default.aspx?tabid=81&PageID=1">share it with you</a>.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;">it is a beautiful cup to drink in Truth.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">i say 'cup' because any Bible study is simply a method- a vessel for drinking in the Scriptures yourself. a construct for opening your Bible, reading & searching for meaning, praying for understanding, and asking boldly for fruit to grow in your life as a result.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">there are many 'cups'- </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">if you live in st. louis, you have a large number of wonderful Bible study programs available to you- both through churches and Christian organizations. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">any time of day, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">any day of the week, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">with or without childcare, </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">with every imaginable method of Bible study available to you.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';">i take it for granted, honestly.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: 'lucida grande';"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">if you want to share about a Bible study method you enjoy or a class you attend, please feel free to share it in the comments! i'd love to compile a resource for women in our community... a list of all the available 'cups,' if you will.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 100%;"><i>yes, i am purposefully not advertising for any specific church, study method or Bible study group here... i'm all too wary of offending, alienating, or misrepresenting people or organizations. i am not suggesting that any one method, mine included, is THE BEST (although i do prefer my particular class for myself). if you are interested in checking out the class i attend or any that you read about in the comments, i'd love to put you in touch with the right people! you can leave your e-mail address in the comments or contact me directly.</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i> <br />
</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 100%;"><i>final disclaimer... please don't shout '<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/legalism">legalism'</a></span> </span>at me! : ) legalism involves laws and rules (it also implies judgement and condemnation), and i hope you're not reading that here. while i am far from perfectly impartial, i am truly not passing judgement on anyone, any faith, any method, or even a lack of method. i'm suggesting that there is something beautifully satisfying in reading, praying, wrestling with and discovering God's Truth in the Bible.</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>that is all.</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!"</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">(isaiah 55:1)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: 130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"> <br />
</span></span></div>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-70743878247057930652011-07-31T20:50:00.000-07:002011-07-31T21:12:31.276-07:00things i don't like<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:180%;">in no particular order...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">white chocolate</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">tropical plants</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">the word 'sherbet'</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">also the word 'slice'</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">people who say those words repeatedly because they think it's funny to bug me</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">skinny jeans (sorry- i just think they're ugly. please continue with your fashion; just know i think the pants are hideous, not you.)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">caramel scented things</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">having to pee right as i was starting to fall asleep</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">also the fact that i have to pee at 2:00 a.m. almost every night</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">and that i have to cross my legs when i sneeze so i don't pee a little- i was under the misguided notion that c-sections avoided this little gem of motherhood, but it is not so</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">people who choose a soapbox and truly judge you for not taking it up as your personal crusade</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">also people who will never ever admit that things are not perfect in their lives... we all know it's not true, but it still feels a little icky to think 'i'm the only one who isn't superwoman.' </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">mosquito bites. especially on babies.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">shaving my armpits. i still do it; i just don't like it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">being sweaty for 6 weeks straight... such is life in st. louis</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">when my pins won't work on pinterest. i know: get over it. i usually do.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">being old enough to get the kind of running injuries that only old people should get</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">realizing that i look old to 20 year olds</span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">the fact that i did not wear more sunscreen when i was 20</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">the screeching sound my 3 year old can make</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">the way everything falls apart at the same time- bats in the attic, broken a/c, leaky dishwasher, ice encrusted freezer, leaky gutters, funky sounding car engine</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">warm public pool water</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">dusty lampshades (annoying to clean)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">razor burn</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">there. that was somewhat therapeutic. please don't berate me for being whiny- i just felt like getting it out there. </span></div>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-28160914910860142332011-07-28T09:41:00.000-07:002011-08-05T07:53:50.599-07:00Feather Your Nest: housewares swap party II<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">a few weeks ago, i hosted the second (annual? maybe not) housewares swap party. the idea was for women to offer up those items in their home that they didn't love/want/use and go home with things that they did!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">in my mind, this is easier than a garage sale: no major organizing, no pricing, no sitting outside for 6 hours & haggling with neighbors over $.50.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">not only that, but this was just another reason to get together with women that i love for good food & drink and fun conversation! add in some 'free shopping,' and what's not to love?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">this time around i chose an evening event instead of a saturday morning- you capture a different group of women when you move the times around, which is fun!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">here is what i think you need to do this kind of party:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;" ><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaFmtlyD6OabA0i_tTQbU-J1be1L-U-w_nU_gBLLXvrawVXhAIyJGl92hBppc1VT8TCbCinLxvh5hOsuTGPjmj8hnAONFk8eofMHCCxSolHzIWh-g76uM_h5_9FFTC0pSkqm1xzKnALaw/s400/IMG_5189.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634446913264242866" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">stuff to swap </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Imh6EERqs_OGEnGrrl3lKT6_wkJneKZXJarNF1XwhcogQbFrZUqCYFt_EvdQvtplxnjj3Pc804BKovI6qT65aLlpX9QwajwwbVxn2hpBoA2XnxHrB62Svoj4hdvzdtBKWbDvUlaC2SU/s400/IMG_5197.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637371657322728162" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">(not the dog)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;" ><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSOU4KVT-dbTUW0sLUfkjBKbMxYlngAijNqhMNz15EyPmWNAxcWgZfoxwC9am06mPdEwqlJvK213Y4RzcZntm9IVyeZ8lZ4QUVvkEIbBDtk7u04RSciBAWTgRwqm9Q-efaQhPlM_t1FOY/s400/IMG_5190.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634446923088162610" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;" >lots of great stuff- all (mostly!) delivered the day before so i could arrange it somewhat nicely... obviously, 15 different kinds of candle holders don't look perfect arranged together on a shelf, but i did want everything to be visible to the shoppers!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQYXCrK5KZ513rJ-Fek5OPwxt_2-gFo9ntWV6P4sw65x9sw9TTTvVgbr9XjTPbov4h7gXicSDIsv30xb0h4BManXHuyb2JgbSocWiuNPDQ40QeN67uuWHU7V8ymirOtQ0_yNrcOookSg/s400/IMG_5194.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637371638309416770" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><br /></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Yp7D8TFSMliTjHc2mlWh525H34UkgpNVMjukpSHYV-LVH7zi7DHnh9RymPnBThbyGNlM9V9T0veyJs5s0wPrL6-XEWgfcfNgnjNHW8hZXpOOw3EyhshK53ZRxdDqSXuDaZMiFcNNlG0/s1600/IMG_5191.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Yp7D8TFSMliTjHc2mlWh525H34UkgpNVMjukpSHYV-LVH7zi7DHnh9RymPnBThbyGNlM9V9T0veyJs5s0wPrL6-XEWgfcfNgnjNHW8hZXpOOw3EyhshK53ZRxdDqSXuDaZMiFcNNlG0/s400/IMG_5191.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634446933726253490" /></span></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiGwCwYG6qP05HYTAIrZhTy3SVMmVtTcDCwViE7M8QIyap4nZqxv7HmqvxMNrpWIyZrrxq_2jJ3A0rGMVfvUulYE-8WTZiXWMtHLJdpPmHmUMk5M-5Tvn1BMXd8YJWElyPF-2pdBx0Yyc/s400/IMG_5195.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637371648817596930" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; ">a nice assortment of housewares... the only 'rules' were no electronics (lamps are okay, but no blenders/electric knives) and no broken stuff or half-burned candles. we got a lot of great items in all different kinds of decor styles!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlywzPBM4Nl7qY5DJOq7SKWd5dfcVuOcfv-hGNN5Z2L9Rq9uu-W8laYI6NTa2AwEkUEURq3sTfQuawn3DJwDzsLZFu9SJoS9-_U_wyd4qYWIk7C6W32lNF5Pi9OcZM0BGHBbKPDuBiCk/s400/IMG_5192.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637371633727334450" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">food, of course!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcbfdnFomaFNhPQGVTm3fFwcuPCbVNfB2kARQtWLUvrEYSHISs57mwVpKr6hI4WEtQzDTJOEnEbdKjqjzms1w8mFoQIL4eByoBgk2nMG2tEgi8Ffvn-Q-PhWvKs0DfD6tHEYYY3XMvOc/s1600/IMG_5185.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjcbfdnFomaFNhPQGVTm3fFwcuPCbVNfB2kARQtWLUvrEYSHISs57mwVpKr6hI4WEtQzDTJOEnEbdKjqjzms1w8mFoQIL4eByoBgk2nMG2tEgi8Ffvn-Q-PhWvKs0DfD6tHEYYY3XMvOc/s400/IMG_5185.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634446905714224962" /></span></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjy6ZbVI59A9NJQ9ddw24IgiJrSJ7AQrgGmDHLci9nqHvNEE34IgAOU8q34aYIM_HPYMn0C6PUNRxuXfoGAPwatHoJwJ9nXklaeszpZLRLL1OAZIRW5Dqsba_FAT0udq67O5yx4ZCG7gg/s400/IMG_5187.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637371621582816066" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:16px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">veggies and dip (in individual cups- easier to eat!)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirziIwXbFZiaExySzNXDUK-lW6AAz79un4fwApaJ_pHx-H84FuxQVYkNAZ3fHgaCiuAMAqiXssZsdlrNP7ViE9gEbXSIQnGPXvp4U6tZN-gAPivc5uS60-9qr-tSgMpAecS5SOTKnn3FE/s400/IMG_5180.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634445760747165490" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">chocolate tart with shortbread crust. love!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnvVxoxOk2IgAMpuNbqKp4BcyE5EyfhgLEHldddb8x65LJC5iD3fC6WdGpXFNpVCxSDEQaKuqpYRfDnRMk07DD_uez79YbSg3Lq2lARSDfKETb4p9lD9aTRJXZioU54oLLz6537q28Dr4/s1600/IMG_5184.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnvVxoxOk2IgAMpuNbqKp4BcyE5EyfhgLEHldddb8x65LJC5iD3fC6WdGpXFNpVCxSDEQaKuqpYRfDnRMk07DD_uez79YbSg3Lq2lARSDfKETb4p9lD9aTRJXZioU54oLLz6537q28Dr4/s400/IMG_5184.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634446896085560706" /></span></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">drinks! look, they're French- i'm so fancy.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivoWeuaBj3c8CnmXX7QwTwa2UoYoTvBcT_rIHuwjHgS84oICefPFvcG0STsw7ugIhkbMPKZJXKh94m5yJCS-1t3xFBbVB5-kW0xgzejfqFabqC2-sbAWX_Y_bHdZHTPkWuwNlYLIdNPrE/s1600/IMG_5183.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivoWeuaBj3c8CnmXX7QwTwa2UoYoTvBcT_rIHuwjHgS84oICefPFvcG0STsw7ugIhkbMPKZJXKh94m5yJCS-1t3xFBbVB5-kW0xgzejfqFabqC2-sbAWX_Y_bHdZHTPkWuwNlYLIdNPrE/s400/IMG_5183.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634445779550013250" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg113uQpAkbZ_lC-Q44fiZ9128qNKoACfug-tT8z0a2Z52UN4s4Nc4_48vuc5fNGDr8KjsiZYkB3GAKBgfrc19wBSFpExRUqqwkKen49nomvBY_RyER9nn_kOE6r8_uHAjbqX47yw_sKRY/s1600/IMG_5182.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg113uQpAkbZ_lC-Q44fiZ9128qNKoACfug-tT8z0a2Z52UN4s4Nc4_48vuc5fNGDr8KjsiZYkB3GAKBgfrc19wBSFpExRUqqwkKen49nomvBY_RyER9nn_kOE6r8_uHAjbqX47yw_sKRY/s400/IMG_5182.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634445770931694466" /></a></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">small canning jars make great drink glasses when you need a bunch of them!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkopISKeL4UANN_wipJUMHKgH0NkBA9ztSFVXBfa1hKqyhypOThZGiyS7qpdNLXYyRS-jpbJi4APIvQ23tcwpYhEMip15ztZJlOsfhXkjoQ-Q11TlhExfWfA8wt3nb6ZxEMmE6EncCoHo/s400/IMG_5203.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637380272069813826" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px; " /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">herbs for mixing into the lemonade, limeade, iced tea, water, etc. sorry for the bad picture- there is mint, basil, rosemary & lavender here. makes for a yummy drink & a nice smelling kitchen! (side note, does anyone else love the way their hands smell after cutting herbs? just me? awesome.)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">i didn't get pictures of all the food everyone brought- it got a little busy once everyone was standing in my kitchen (don't all parties end up like that?)! my kids were also running through randomly, so i didn't document things too well. however, we had TONS of great appetizers, cupcakes, dips, desserts, drinks and yummies! my friends know how to cook, and i love it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">and finally, something to keep the shopping civilized! </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">i'm kidding, of course- this wasn't really an insane, pull-your-hair-to-steal-your-stuff kind of crowd! but it is nice to have an order to the event... </span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3SIY6RVWgNdPPTFwRnJtksbwxtiKJd2xZ1AfrVj2zEpIhejCM_xM_B5vly6edxB_G1h-2dnqKDbeaKrWrvmscJIeFkm9Jnsd9Mi5s7ZhqRhVhgQcVOTs0FduLEw3rrXC0nRjJ7IUsHlk/s1600/IMG_5179.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3SIY6RVWgNdPPTFwRnJtksbwxtiKJd2xZ1AfrVj2zEpIhejCM_xM_B5vly6edxB_G1h-2dnqKDbeaKrWrvmscJIeFkm9Jnsd9Mi5s7ZhqRhVhgQcVOTs0FduLEw3rrXC0nRjJ7IUsHlk/s400/IMG_5179.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634445755117577570" /></span></a><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-TjZFbhjeu1-KrcrivZ0t2NH-oJxiVRjfB8Z-vzUdYy51vEZCsqH_J5a8C83iA5dzk2TcZzsC90DcEXjnGecAQumethT8m_OUc7X9Upuhrwbqm0j8nvbTQLKU5FGkmof6VpVZW82q8rA/s400/IMG_5175.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634445747028144402" /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">everyone gets a pile of tags with a number, and this tells the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande'; font-size: large; ">m which group they will be in to 'shop.' we had about 20 women, so we divided into groups of 5 people. if you bring 5 items to swap, you can use all 5 tags for shopping. just choose the items you want, and place a tag on it to 'mark' it as yours!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">easy.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:100%;">*a hostess tip- if you're planning to do this, i would box up or cover up your personal decor items that you don't plan to swap! otherwise you could have some stuff missing after the party! : )</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:100%;">* one more- save the bags, boxes and wrapping paper that everyone brings their items in! you'll need it for sending home their new stuff, as well as for boxing up the donation items.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">i DO have pictures of all the ladies at the party- thank you, bailey! however, i did not ask permission to put their faces on the internet, so i'm going to keep those private.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">i do NOT have a picture of the pile of things left after the party- the unwritten 'rule' of the swap party is to leave your unclaimed stuff behind for a donation to the women's shelter. honestly, there wasn't too much left- maybe 10-12 items out of 75 total? not bad! the charity pick up truck came about a week after the party, so i didn't even have to take it to Goodwill. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">next challenge? a clothing swap. i can't get my brain around it, but it needs to happen.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">anyone want to help?? : )</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7067347352614176780.post-81059401004968440952011-07-27T14:02:00.000-07:002011-07-28T09:16:13.638-07:00caroline the ballerina<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:100%;">i don't know if words are really necessary with this post... </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:100%;">caroline took her first dance class this summer.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:100%;">(and yes, i was the annoying mommy with the camera. but it was the small camera (less annoying?) and therefore poor quality pictures)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">Caroline's First Dance Class</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEuHZCFilrZ4G5MqFqWn4BEPMCojGHH3RsPiIguVbBnIDIgLISxvuZT7idQ69ztpjPPfvqgInzgoabeY943JtG_v-xTAku2olMLaQuz0fXJyF0tQFVIiECb9klMVPYSi__Nx5-wP8d1Mk/s1600/IMG_1175.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 334px; height: 445px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEuHZCFilrZ4G5MqFqWn4BEPMCojGHH3RsPiIguVbBnIDIgLISxvuZT7idQ69ztpjPPfvqgInzgoabeY943JtG_v-xTAku2olMLaQuz0fXJyF0tQFVIiECb9klMVPYSi__Nx5-wP8d1Mk/s400/IMG_1175.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634141220881807186" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5nCdScjoVmSM1bZQMg6sdmZOdFidr1HVmp670bnW6wpacsOk1Ahr5gEd8AZale1-0xUF_SMj3lpwbaMD3BmRbrYZzujxNvgL8x-ETr_2ud1ipVXmCK4uTwvAHg5E8oXcNiSOxT0N_Kg/s1600/IMG_1185.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 423px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5nCdScjoVmSM1bZQMg6sdmZOdFidr1HVmp670bnW6wpacsOk1Ahr5gEd8AZale1-0xUF_SMj3lpwbaMD3BmRbrYZzujxNvgL8x-ETr_2ud1ipVXmCK4uTwvAHg5E8oXcNiSOxT0N_Kg/s400/IMG_1185.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634150551128827778" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzdv0A18B0olA5AGhHB8iP-aIJIOpLYJcqx_0FJh-jrPF0OAbC31FRuUrVrxOHtAeepfdPJ5_DygG0K9TTDF9-tJi7X6kTL6DtAaD6SG5Pib9mzq_tB8CfE5NVsrVWByW3GPMcBj8iKgM/s1600/IMG_1194.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 332px; height: 442px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzdv0A18B0olA5AGhHB8iP-aIJIOpLYJcqx_0FJh-jrPF0OAbC31FRuUrVrxOHtAeepfdPJ5_DygG0K9TTDF9-tJi7X6kTL6DtAaD6SG5Pib9mzq_tB8CfE5NVsrVWByW3GPMcBj8iKgM/s400/IMG_1194.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634150566494457298" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSwcDreZZyw3yPCN39fUqzYCrSUQaPIJw-kwZq3XGHnmNG08Iz2Sq8Ap4wy2qCNFJ4R0PUxYpRodEEHnW38Mxk84FGG3dFl0qvO-1LvD2Q9DKPDwEvJcomgqRlEjq6pdVdknw8SF5xgw/s400/IMG_1179.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634141228644463218" border="0" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 352px; height: 468px; " /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000ee;"><br /></span></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RP1ZICUyCJRIo-iwEkc2tm4Kw9opHIYRkGUyp_RCIT2CYZze-jsOtvlSs8MrclXBizNWA_cueWaR7RbWLpCb-RR9WluD4HWRtbzo5yx3PdQ7f5IGnMd-mR3xmR3rSpk6PlPL9R62A-I/s1600/IMG_1191.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 323px; height: 430px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RP1ZICUyCJRIo-iwEkc2tm4Kw9opHIYRkGUyp_RCIT2CYZze-jsOtvlSs8MrclXBizNWA_cueWaR7RbWLpCb-RR9WluD4HWRtbzo5yx3PdQ7f5IGnMd-mR3xmR3rSpk6PlPL9R62A-I/s400/IMG_1191.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634150559482794690" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV2r_VWuPCbSax8LJtL92pWDPzMrRyaiXhwrBmb7bDN4oE-FnT_SNky1IRDlRZeudi7SuP7hgqkCP0IucFnSIwCj3YmDcftvEjCgsIx1veqm-gvwrQRJX_Fws6-6441sFvhlqrV0lt_7Y/s1600/IMG_1182.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 334px; height: 445px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV2r_VWuPCbSax8LJtL92pWDPzMrRyaiXhwrBmb7bDN4oE-FnT_SNky1IRDlRZeudi7SuP7hgqkCP0IucFnSIwCj3YmDcftvEjCgsIx1veqm-gvwrQRJX_Fws6-6441sFvhlqrV0lt_7Y/s400/IMG_1182.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634150547151979186" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd0awfkY712jZ6YAzfBztjSF3c7JMZflq5N9G9xQalFM2WoZJzz_BHBZrIaFqGwS4kUUsdcSDw8xX1Wty3kIRj4NuJ1joRqWR9qWuWCCfxAJugtM5OWv1aYHAU28Z4ENxd5G87JUIjtlE/s1600/IMG_1195.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmsf2WCNzBY7o6iFJ48Uee5LYcX_IcI-8O71ZElDBKsswFHADWlRSCLlCGY67LPnU1GHoK2tgFw1FmI4NvXuB_RMdmo7OzVHKDmPv52lRClZUA6npb3_NfyvMe90TKigwEMFKTuigoI9Y/s1600/IMG_1177.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 343px; height: 457px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmsf2WCNzBY7o6iFJ48Uee5LYcX_IcI-8O71ZElDBKsswFHADWlRSCLlCGY67LPnU1GHoK2tgFw1FmI4NvXuB_RMdmo7OzVHKDmPv52lRClZUA6npb3_NfyvMe90TKigwEMFKTuigoI9Y/s400/IMG_1177.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634141223681745522" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEuHZCFilrZ4G5MqFqWn4BEPMCojGHH3RsPiIguVbBnIDIgLISxvuZT7idQ69ztpjPPfvqgInzgoabeY943JtG_v-xTAku2olMLaQuz0fXJyF0tQFVIiECb9klMVPYSi__Nx5-wP8d1Mk/s1600/IMG_1175.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqjQu6OS2QPQBA-51FmJlJP_wbyFTejqHyh8ugJtbnGZxJ9n0CKGCmmx8ICo0zp4VNKb4KrStJR_DcsuBXVw19KAhagsKevo_lw9kEP2CuLrqpx4MIHiq_4e9aSq6I5I-FB-6yPLCfT7E/s1600/IMG_1174.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZKPSEZyT89r2ly5QkKX7kMG8JWGeP5HvSa-1-c1OsIxxTnGqPFcgAB6CRZFFHyvC805ZKCmpRpOD_O0ePpo7FBoXo-UfOckS41Ha4J3RSzlxx-g2YBnYa2ph1C-lvgya-m3J8ZpTu5x8/s1600/IMG_1180.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 335px; height: 446px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZKPSEZyT89r2ly5QkKX7kMG8JWGeP5HvSa-1-c1OsIxxTnGqPFcgAB6CRZFFHyvC805ZKCmpRpOD_O0ePpo7FBoXo-UfOckS41Ha4J3RSzlxx-g2YBnYa2ph1C-lvgya-m3J8ZpTu5x8/s400/IMG_1180.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634141234900162338" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgezYAWXBPxtyXbjOrcINjjGD12Hr5i-3OjAaHdauFWqG8h9KvieM9rzY0Hbo1XEFTVczQGPg6QBEO9E7aMR_dPpemGPaNAzEjR0cDb7AjoWJ60FuDthUDVOUNt4hq3Uoq4_W2O7lADmdg/s1600/IMG_1196.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgezYAWXBPxtyXbjOrcINjjGD12Hr5i-3OjAaHdauFWqG8h9KvieM9rzY0Hbo1XEFTVczQGPg6QBEO9E7aMR_dPpemGPaNAzEjR0cDb7AjoWJ60FuDthUDVOUNt4hq3Uoq4_W2O7lADmdg/s400/IMG_1196.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634151373016011826" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">love her. </span></div></div>rachel blazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851580258556500091noreply@blogger.com3