an invitation...

i'm a part of something happening all over the world...

an international gathering of men & women who want to know God & understand the Gospel more intimately.

it's starting up again next week with a shiny, bright hot-off-the-presses study of the book of Isaiah.

and you're invited...

here is a taste of what i learned today at our leader's workshop

(i'll be a children's teacher this year- 3 year olds- yay!):

*this is completely quoted from BSF teaching materials- no plagiarism here!!

1. those who have glimpsed the holiness of God are able to put life in proper perspective.

2. begin with God, and you will have a right view of people and circumstances.

3. begin with people or circumstances, and you will have a wrong view of God.

wow. in other words, if i begin with the Truth of the Gospel (that i am forgiven & saved by Jesus Christ's death on the cross), i can approach all areas of my life & this crazy world with right thinking.

wow.

not like i'll get it right all the time... i most often begin with ME. i'm a pretty big deal in my world- my own idol, if you will. i'd like to ask God to take ME off the pedestal in my world, but i'm afraid that might be uncomfortable. it's a little scary, this whole business of giving up my selfish desires.

but how amazing if it can happen, right? if God & the Truth of how HE sees me & this world was my starting point instead of MY version of truth & goodness?

and it's not if- it's now. God doesn't start me on stuff He's not going to finish.

crap. this is going to be quite a ride.

i'm already amazed by the beauty & intimacy of Isaiah- it's REAL stuff, y'all. it's full of application to my life... and to yours as well.

would you like to join me? classes begin next week all over the world- click BSFinternational.org and go to the tab "BSF classes." then find a class near you- they make it SO simple to join. FREE. with children's classes (not childcare- our kids learn the same things the adults learn, but with snacks & playdoh for good measure. my girls ADORE it). and materials. and fellowship with other women (or men, if any men read this blog- they have men's classes).

and Jesus is there, which is awfully cool.

questions? i'd love to answer them. ridicule? no thank you. concerns? please let me know.

just know that i thought about you... and wanted to invite you to something i love, okay?

*yes- i'm a part of an amazing church that i absolutely love. and i love BSF. there is no competition between the two in my heart- i love them for separate reasons, and for the same reasons: at each ministry, the Bible is clearly taught each week; the people are seeking the Lord with their lives; and they actively pursue relationship with each other in an effort to live out the Gospel.

i have 2 places in my life where that is true... have i ever complained about my life? i take it back. i'm ridiculously blessed.*

long run thoughts

thing i thought about while running 15 miles today:

i'm SO much slower than i used to be (and taller & wider & thicker), but i think i'm okay with it.

i haven't quite lost my competitive nature-

i passed a woman while in my 15th mile. bad idea- it hurt.

i have my first black toenail after 22 years of running.

it's gross.

i have probably pooped/peed in every park, playground & shady space in webster groves.

i ran through the following municipalities today:

webster groves, shrewsbury, crestwood, oakland, kirkwood, glendale.

is there one i'm missing? hmmm.

i stopped to ask an elderly man with an oxygen tank if he needed help- turns out he was just getting comfortable on his seat at the end of his driveway, which is where he reads for an hour every morning. i think this is fantastic.

i saw WAY too many people in their undies getting the paper & smoking & letting their dogs out. think about this: no matter how early the hour how dark the sky, how private you think your yard is, i can see you. and there are others out running or walking, too! we can all see you in your undies! put on some pants.

or don't, i guess. whatever.

there are composting port-a-potties on Grant's Trail.

very cool. and breezy on your behind while you use them, too.

there are significant sections of this city that don't have sidewalks on major roads. are we not supposed to cover those distances except in cars??

Watson, Berry Rd., Manchester...

there are also significant portions of Webster Groves that are difficult to make it down the sidewalk because of tables/chairs/potted plants. our city planners must not be runners, and they definitely have not EVER pushed a double stroller down those sidewalks.

(i did NOT push the double stroller for 15 miles. i'm not insane.)

out of every city i've lived in, teenagers in St. Louis are by far the most rude to me while i'm running. they don't move from their spot in the middle of the sidewalk, say hello, or even make eye contact. (mostly- there are exceptions.)

i'm making a mental note to teach my children to be polite. or at least not speed bumps.

my dog doesn't stop to poop- he just spreads his legs & poops a trail down the road.

this makes it difficult to retrieve the pieces (yes, i try).

this also makes me jealous. is that weird?

my ipod 'shuffle' mix is not so random... i am beginning to hear patterns.

St. Louis has so many beautiful old trees- they're really fun to look at while running. and i can't wait to crunch through the leaves when it's really Fall!

STL also has restrooms at almost all the major parks & playgrounds... i appreciate this.

however, i wish they didn't close 'for the season' when it gets colder. there is not a bathroom season- i poop year round.

i've used the word poop way too many times in this blog post.

i take naps like a pregnant lady on days that i run long. feels good, and then i wake up fuzzy.

i may still be fuzzy from my nap- i'll have to proof read this post.

i think ibuprofen & ice are magic.

i think my husband loves me a lot- he makes it possible for me to run long on his day off, and i appreciate it very much. i'm generally too tired on these days to show him how much i appreciate it... but i'll get my energy back at some point.

(no this is not dirty- get your mind out of the gutter.)

i should stop writing before i talk more about poop.

whatever

i'm clearly undecided on this whole blogging thing.

no declarations of my newfound faithfulness to the blog.

no announcement of abandonment.

just another post. probably sans pictures- sorry mom.

i'm ready for real life to begin again.

summer was fun, lazy, open-ended & delicious.

i need a schedule NOW!

i need to be a bit more busy- a bit more 'book-ended' by obligations. looking ahead to 4-5 days with nothing on the calendar was wonderful for the summer. now it's over & i'm ready- it was getting tiresome.

our fall looks pretty good! caroline has school (half days) on MWF, julia has 'parents day out' on WF. I have BSF leader's meeting on Mondays, which julia will go to with me. all 3 of us go to BSF on Tuesdays from 8:30 to 12:15ish. Thursdays are our unscheduled days- zoo, library, botanical gardens, world bird sanctuary (my kids love it- so strange) here we come! i'm glad we have a day each week that's open ended- stay in PJ's & eat pancakes, build a fort, have a tea party (which ALWAYS involves orange juice & goldfish crackers- why? i dunno).

fridays are a question mark... matt's day off. girls in school. my 'long run' day (training for a marathon- that's a post unto itself). sounds nice, yes? i'm secretly (not so secretly- this is a public blog) afraid that i won't get to take full advantage of my 3 hours with no kids because matt will be at home! yes, the pastor's wife is admitting selfishness- take a deep breath. i'm SO overwhelmed by how hard parenting these 2 beautiful & obnoxious little girls has been this year- i'm DYING for 3 hours by myself (2x a week- woohoo!) and i don't want to share it! i know we'll reach a wonderful compromise- right, matt? love of my life? you still love me even though i put this on my blog, yes?? : ) maybe it will involve coffee dates before we go pick up the girls from school... that would be nice. i know he needs time to himself, too- turns out being a pastor is hard work-

who knew?!

that's it... ready for school, ready for BSF, ready for 65 degree temps & the smell of falling leaves. ready for long sleeved t-shirts & shorts- my favorite outfit, always.

maybe ready to re-enter the blogging world? we'll see. thanks for your patience & for not sending me hate mail.

ramblings of an inconsistent blogger

so i really do enjoy blogging... i don't mean to neglect it for months on end. i think i explained it best to someone (probably my mom, who wishes i would blog more) like this:

for me, blogging is like stretching before & after running. i know it's important, and i even know i feel better when i stretch consistently. but even more important than stretching is the act of getting my butt out of bed, going for a run, eating healthy foods & drinking plenty of water. that's a lot of important stuff, and i can't keep them all up at the same time. something has to go, and most often, it's the stretching. or the blogging. you still with me?

the important things that are crowding out the blogging right now are mostly mundane:

#1: doing relaxing, summer-y things with my girls, such as the zoo & botanical gardens & finding new playgrounds & going swimming.

#2: ramping up my running schedule to train for some longer races... another half marathon in october and a full marathon in december. this is taking a lot of my energy because (gasp) i'm old. it used to be that, if i was just disciplined enough, i could do just about any distance or speed i wanted. now i'm plenty disciplined, but everything hurts & sags & jiggles when i run. it's awesome.

#3: having lots of friends over to our house, which is fun & tiring all at once. i'm becoming more extroverted (thanks matt), but i'm still a big fan of alone time. so i have tons of fun while friends are at our house, then i collapse when they leave. : ) i love it, though- please still come over, friends!

so you'd think i'd have an ENORMOUS list of things that were keeping me so busy i couldn't spin out a 15 minute blog post... sadly, that's really it. #1 occupies most of my time because i chose not to put the girls in VBS or summer camps this summer. yes, i'm slightly wistful about having a few hours to myself while the kids are away... but i stand by my decision to have one last summer without lessons & programs before caroline jumps into the big world of school & social outings, etc.

it is tiring and restful at the same time.

that's all for now... i do have pictures to post from 4th of July & Julia's birthday. maybe i'll go on a rampage & blog twice this month! woohoo!

thanks for being patient with me...

things i looked down on before i was a parent

i was a perfect parent before i had kids.

i just knew that i would never commit these horrible 'sins' that the families i nannied

for were flagrantly committing on a daily basis.

now is my time to repent & share my overly judge-y and oh-so-hypocritical thoughts

with you... because my sins have come back to haunt me in a very real way!

(please don't think i even BEGIN to think these thoughts about your families- this is my way of telling you that i learned my lesson!!)

these are the things i (unfairly) judged parents for before i had kids:

1. children with un-brushed hair

2. children with food or snot on their faces

(to be fair, i should have far more pictures of this occurring in my family. however, caroline is paranoid about having stuff on her face & will use any part of my body as a kleenex in order to keep her face clean.)

(it's not the dirt that i'm showing you... it's the dirt that's stuck in the SNOT. cute, though, right??)

3. mis-matched clothing

(i still have some control over julia's clothing, so not too much fun with her yet... and i can't find half as many pictures of caroline's clothing adventures as i should!)

4. baby-leashes

(this deserves a post of it's own, but who am i kidding? i'm doing good to blog at all!)

i must give some background on this... i have ALWAYS (even after having 2 children) thought that using a leash on a child was ridiculous. i mean, really? just get some control over your kids, right? here were my actual thoughts (i'm so ashamed): "if you were a better parent & would discipline your children, you wouldn't need a leash."

ridiculous.

i can't even tell you how much i have EATEN THOSE WORDS!

julia is the exact definition of a child that needs a leash.

except she won't wear it- she's that crazy about running independently into crowds, dense forests, huge bodies of water and traffic.

we tried the leash at the airport for about 20 minutes. there was so much laying down & shrieking & snot flying & hideous flailing that i was forced to remove the leash & place her in the stroller.

i am that parent.

she is that child.

i accept this.

sort of.

5. unhealthy eating habits in children.

this is my daughter hiding behind a box of candy... given to her by her father, of course!

and below is her drinking a soda- also given to her by her father. : )

this also bears some explanation. when caroline was a baby, she ate pretty much anything we offered her- green, purple, orange, red, yellow, fruit, veggie, meat. she was pretty open to new things and i took great satisfaction in my parenting skills. when parents would tell me their kids only ate macaroni & cheese, i would smugly think, 'well, i have always offered my kids a variety of healthy foods & they eat what we eat. no junk, no trash, no fillers, no exceptions.'

ha.

then they became toddlers & got their own opinions.

they will still eat enough 'good' foods that i'm not completely worried about their future, but i'm certainly not taking great pride in their macaroni & cheese, french fry & pizza consumption.

and finally:

6. dirty homes

for real! can you believe my arrogance? i really thought it was ridiculous how much dirt was on the floors & in the corners of the homes of families with children.

i think we all know that i've gotten over that.

if i was a really good blogger, i would go take a picture of my coffee table right now- it's covered in 'Mr. Yuk' stickers, christmas card stickers, and paint.

okay... feel free to judge me now for my judgmental, critical nature.

just be gentle with me- i've learned my lesson.

i promise i'm better now

(not perfect- i still have a lot of judgements to be broken of, i'm sure)!

i hope i didn't shatter your illusions of my perfection.

ha!

happy thursday, friends!

the big 4!

waaaaayyyy back on march 18,

my beautiful little caroline turned 4!

(told you i'm a horrible blogger... but i'm an even worse scrapbooker, so this is all we'll have to remember this party!)

i would say it's hard to believe that she's already 4...

i would say that i can't understand how the time went so quickly...

i'd say she's growing up so fast...

but really?

it feels like 4 years.

at least!

i LOVE caroline.

and i LOVE being a mother.

but it's not like the years just rush past while we pick daisies in the sunshine and gaze happily at our lovely children.

we've had our share of tantrums & screaming fits.

we've had our puddles of urine & other bodily fluids.

we've had plenty of concerns & worries along the last 4 years.

would i trade it for anything else?

nope.

she's amazing.

beautiful inside & out.

i LOVE this stage of her life, and as she learns to interact with us & with the world as a person (and not a baby), i'm looking forward to getting to know her better all the time.

so the birthday party?

what else:

A Fairy Princess Tea Party!

(she wanted mermaids, too, but i had to draw the line somewhere!)

here's the invitations (from Hobby Lobby):

and the poem i wrote for the back of the invite...

my favorite thing about the invitations is that it assumes that i'm the queen... it's good to be queen, i'll give you that! : )

on her birthday morning, we had the traditional cinnamon rolls for breakfast & a mini-celebration with just the 4 of us.

(she likes sitting in the booster seat still... no complaints from me!)

opening a few small presents... she got lots of princess dolls, which gave her GREAT JOY!

(and this is the only picture i can put online because she chose nakedness as her birthday outfit)

we let julia play with some balloons so she wouldn't feel left out... she thought that was fantastic!

then we got ready for the actual birthday party!

once the girls hit age 3, we begin inviting one friend per year that we're celebrating.

so caroline got to choose 4 friends from school and church, and she could NOT stop talking about them as we got ready for the party! she knew where they should sit, what they should eat, what they should play with... super cute!

we made princess wands as our main activity- 2 per girl.

everything was from Hobby Lobby- inexpensive & fun!

i would say that i went way overboard on the decorations, but we've used all of that stuff up making art projects & crafts since the party. we love sparkles!

and by we, i mean caroline...

i painted the 'wands' white so they would show the pastel colors better.

the dining room- all ready for the party!

the birthday banner- we use this one every year.

it's just watercolor stencils on postcard size paper, then a grosgrain ribbon in coordinating colors strung through the letters.

each girl got some tacky plastic princess stuff... i mean, they got their own place setting of princess jewels & fairy princess napkins to wipe their hands.the candy necklaces were a gift to caroline from her grandma- my mom. they were a BIG hit with the girls, and they added at least 10 minutes of happiness to the party!

i use these floral 'splat mats' for everything... table cloths, floor covers for art projects, picnic blankets. love them!

julia was not impressed with the decor, but she did continually try to choke herself with a balloon string!

caroline waiting for her guests to arrive...

i was SO busy helping the girls with their wands that i didn't get pictures of them creating them! we have some video, though- it's really cute!

the finished product:

this is snack time- popcorn, grapes, lemonade and then the birthday cupcakes.

the cupcakes were really simple this year... no crazy towers or ice cream cones!

white chocolate cake with pink vanilla icing- beautiful & really yummy.

happy birthday, my beautiful 4 year old!

we love you more every day!