Thursday, November 3, 2011

on being a pastor's wife...

i feel like an unlikely pastor's wife... i don't live up to the image i've created of the lovely, gracious, patient, radiant woman who perfectly supports her pastor husband.  

in reality, i am scattered.  hurried.  sometimes gracious, but more often self-involved and impatient with others.  definitely not radiant-  most often sweaty (why??  why am i always sweating on sunday mornings?).  that's me- i'm the sweaty pastor's wife.  

ugh.

i just returned from a retreat for ministry wives for our denomination (EPC).  

know what i learned?  

there are others like me. 
 (poor things- i'm not calling you sweaty.  maybe you've found a more effective anti-perspirant?)  

while all the women i met were certainly gracious and lovely, they did not make me feel like they had it all together.  they prayed for the same things i pray for.  they worry about their church, their husbands, their children and their future in the same ways i worry.  they get annoyed- bitter, even;  we all get annoyed.  they focus on the wrong things, and then feel the Lord turning their attention back to Him.  they can't change everything with a wave of their hands or even a special evening of prayer.  

the best thing they have in common with me?  sometimes they all wish their husbands had a nice job in a nice office where they go from 8:00-5:00 every day.  this was particularly freeing for me, as i think this way about once a month.  or i ask if i can move away to a cave where there are no people... 

i'm not the only one who feels this way.  
or, as my husband says, i'm not crazy.

i have some thoughts.  i may blog about them.  you don't have to read them... just a warning.  : )  

6 comments:

keLi said...

i'd find your cave.

... just a warning.

glad to hear that you enjoyed the time - will look forward to reading about what you learned.

Deb said...

I, too, wish my husband had an 8-5 job. Probably more than once a month.

And he can't even claim to be something as noble as a pastor. Although I love that he loves what he does.

Greta said...

Rachel you are awesome,e sweaty or not, pastors wife or not. You are too radiant. I know this because sometimes I get a little jealous of it. And you have the awesomest legs in the USA. Can I say that?

Hal said...

Rachel Blazer, you are completely radiant. Are you kidding me? (Greta, I get jealous about it sometimes too). You are also lovely and patient and every single other adjective you mentioned. And like keLi, I look forward to reading your additional thoughts!

Lindsey said...

While I'm not a pastors wife, I can certainly can related to not feeling like you are who you are supposed to be. And you kinda are the definition of radiant...sorry. Why am I only now just reading this blog?

rachel blazer said...

thanks, lindsey- the radiance is sweat, i believe. : )