a blog post

i wish i could blog while i run... i always think of good things to write about while running.

(well, i think of things. whether they are good is completely irrelevant because i cannot blog while running. that would actually defeat a good portion of why i run: to have a little peace!)

so then i'm home & i'm not alone & i can't pull any coherent sentences together.

for example, see the above sentences.

anyway- i'm thinking of things to write about. but right now, my kids are watching a VeggieTale for the second time in a row and eating Halloween candy instead of the pancakes i made for them. Matt is sick for the 6th straight day and i'm pretty sure it's the flu. i feel badly that he is sick... but selfishly, i'm worried that i'm going to get it. is anyone else like this? your spouse tells you that he or she threw up, and your first thought is: "get away from me!" my second thought is, of course, "i'm so sorry- can i get you anything?" but is quickly followed by my 3rd thought: "what has he touched that i need to wash or disinfect, and how many vitamins can i take to prevent getting this?" i'm a very self-centered person, as it turns out.

so instead of continuing to blog right this minute & ignoring my children, i think we'll do a little christmas shopping. retail therapy, yes? not with my kids! someone will lick the wall in a public restroom before the day is over (julia) and someone will probably pee or scream at a very inappropriate time (caroline). someone else will spend more money than they should & feel guilty later & spend insane amounts of time doing returns next week... that would be me.

i think (if i had time) i would write a blog post right now about how no one told me that 'having a baby' meant becoming a parent. being a parent involves teaching that baby how to be a person, and that's really super hard. i'm not very good at it most of the time (hence the screaming in the background, which you can't hear because this is a blog), and i can't imagine having another child anytime soon. but congratulations to all of you with 3+ kids- i'm sure it's wonderful & you are better at this than i am! : )

i probably shouldn't post this- i'll offend someone or make someone think i don't love my children. i love them- i just don't want more of them to love right now.